ZiOVy's Story

Topic 150

2011-12-13T09:45:00.000-08:00

14/12/2011 ( wednesday)
1.50am...

Yea, it is midnight again...
And I will have a final exam paper at 9.00am...
Suddenly feel sad,

maybe listening to some song,

it makes some different...

I'm sad,

and maybe because I don't know how to solve my math's questions...

And in a sudden moment,

I think to my past...

Everytime when I'm sad,

I will find chilli,

talked to chilli...

saying how sad am I...

and what the replied always was:
" I also don't know what I can help you..."

And now I realized that,

this word from you,

is so important to me...

I don't really need you to help me,

yet I need some words and some voice from you,

to encourage me,

to cheer me up...

so that I can get my mood back to better at least...

But now...

I'm sad,

and I don't get a word from you...

and eventually...

Emo OWNS everything...

I'm so stress for this current final exam,

because it really made me to fall on a very dangerous state,

that my cgpa is under threaten situation...

I need a word from you seriously...

at least a word: "Cheer."

I wish I can get back to a better mood later on,

so that I can proceed my work...

I miss you...

with my whole-hearted...

Topic 149

2011-11-14T08:07:00.000-08:00

Endless story?

15/11(Tue), 12.18am...

We said we end everything on May2011,

and we will be friend again...

And what's happening again recently?

Week1 first day,

awkward feeling,

cause I felt that you scare me somehow...

Week1's following days,

everything like back to normal...

We joked, we chatted...

continue until don't know when,

somethings went wrong...

And yeah,

I didn't do any stupid things like before,

even those annoying things,

I stopped all...

What had happened?
Someone stabbed my back again in front of you??

I have no idea...

Recently my friend called me to go for a trip,

considering...

and yea,

I wanted to attend...

Since there's 7 other ppls joining,

I think I will have a relax trip after my final...

And suddenly,

my friend told me that chilli's respond when

knowing I'm going is not that "siok"

and finally I made my final decision...

I quit...

And fuck yea,

I broke down again,

I asked myself,

"I did so many things, just to make you happy..."

"I stopped doing annoying things to make you more comfortable..."

"I acted as a normal friend to you..."

And ended up,

You said that:

"Sometimes you scare me..."

1 year 3 months...

And fuck yea,

you said you scare me again "sometimes"?

Did you know the sometimes of scare-ness made me suffer...

not sometimes but everytime?

"Your mood good then treat me good,

you mood bad then treat me bad..."

That's what I felt it!!
Am I mean to be like that?

You can't let go...

And same...

I can't let go anything...

I love you so badly... :(

And I hate myself that who love you that much...

Even you dislike me,

even you scare me,

and even sometimes I felt that I had been exploited,

yet,

I still continue do something for you...

and

thinking what I can do to make you feel nature to be with me...

All my mind is just about you...
I'm sad...
Almost every night I suffered for insomnia...

Sometimes my friend told me that when the time

you planned to go somewhere,

and you will mention some friends' name to

go together...

And,
I'm not included in anyway...

You can even mentioned my best friend, alvin

who initially so strange to you and you

don't even dare to speak with him on a phone call!!
Do you still remember??

That time when I was driving,

you even willing to help me hold the phone let me talked to him!

And not you told him yourself!!

But now I felt that

even my position in your heart is lower than him!

I didn't mean I really envy him or what...

I just totally don't understand you!!!

I don't understand why you scare me

even if you already know that
I love you

for so long time ady...

And you ady get use of it ady...
I don't understand...

Please, stopped it can?

Don't "scare" me ady...

I really will have mental problem if continue like that...TT

I'm a good person...
Believe me...
I will show you!!
How good even I'm only your friend~!!

Topic 148

2011-10-20T08:34:00.000-07:00

20/10/2011(Thursday), 11.39pm

As usual, gonna to talk back something

happened few days before...

Monday was my first day of second sem...

Out of expectation,

I saw chilli in my first sight when I'm in school...

I don't know what i should say or respond,

but just don't know why,

I just wanna to stay with you even
I faced you with my back...

First day of Y1S2 life ady very miserable,

maybe because it was a short sem,

everything packed together

and end up,

gg...

First day ady have extra class,

and studied for 6 hours math..

WTF?!?!
Suffering,

I did say I love math,

but not study like that lo...

will sienz de leh...
ZZzzz

Tuesday,

wish those classes ended as fast as possible...

and because there's a badminton session

and sushi bonanza session with coursem

ate after that...
Problem? XD

Failed...

Failed to eat the prawn that i want during the time at AU2,

just ate 1 dish...@@

somewhere near setiawangsa la...:'(

Wednesday,

a random day,

last minutes decided to eat sushi bonanza again,

since we were not able to eat the prawn the day before..

And now we went to timesquare's sushi king...
TADAA~!!!

Did you realized it??
Yeah, baby, that's many plates of purple colours...

Guess what? I ate 3 plates of prawn...XD!!

Satisfied satisfied..XD

And with a total, there's 16 plates of purple colours consumed by 6 of us

IMBA!

Randomly went to redbox and sang k...

for about 4 hours...

And yes!
I left my small blue at UTAR until 9pm...

sorry my dear small blue...XD
And maybe I'm a bit over age,

played till quite sot...

and ended up i slept for 13 hours the other day... :O

more imba...XD

Hmm,

I think I get to be myself and played like no 1 care

again although with my coursemate...

maybe is getting closer with them... XD
And can played around like usual..

Not like sem 1,

all the time diam diam,

I meant not really diam la...

compare to last time talk less a bit la..XD

Topic 147

2011-10-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

14/10/2011(Friday), 1.55am
It's late...
Had a very tiring day for the previous day...XD
Tea with my best gang...
And as what I promised...
I thought I will never get a result with

gpa>3.5
and dont even dream about it..
But this day came true on the wednesday,

which my result released date...

Flashback(wednesday)

Wow, early in the morning, 7.00++

then woke up and went out to do some stuff...

until afternoon...
Lacked of sleep,

darn suffered...

When the time I reached home and

on my way to take my nap,

suddenly phone rang...

WTF?!?
Will the phone call tell me that the

result ady release??

In an unconscious condition,

I picked up the call...

Xh..

She said,

result haven release...

but the list of academic honour had updated...

and me and her were in the dean's list..

And suddenly my eye's opened widely and

I shouted:"HAR?!?!"

"Meh lei geh??"

Hamik lai ye??
I'm in honour list??
Lu ka wa kong xiao ah??

Made me even nervous...

Beh tahan,

went out yam cha...

Once I went out, the another call...

"Result out ady.."

*Stunned

Superd nervous...

And quickly went to my friend's house to check it..

FUYOOHH MAN~!!
First time,

I got A from UTAR!!!

I shouted loudly when I saw my result..

gpa>3.5...

I'm really very happy...

That I couldn't imagine and

not dare to believe that's my result...

I got 4A's and 1B..

Thanks god for blessing my English to pass...

and my CT and BE to get a merit...

and finally,

both of my favourite subjects,

Math and Programming...

for the A..

Programming...I love you, and now I get an A for you..

Satisfied?

hahahaha...

Math...

My dear, you dont love me for 1 year..

since standard 6,

I never failed to get A for my math...

but during my whole year in foundation...

I failed to get A...

But now...

Thanks...

for loving me back...MUACKSS!!!

Hahahaha!!

Really satisfied with my result...

I improved so lots that i couldnt believe my eyes...XD

I know in the future,

it will be harder for me to maintain it..

but at least it is the good starts...XD

And there will be no peoples know,

how much effort i put...

I didnt sleep for every exam i sat the day before...

Although I less study everyday,

but who knows,

the day before exam,

the exam's week,

how much I suffered?

Except my parents knows...:)

I know everybody was like that...

But this is the really first time,

I got the what I wish for my effort,

Those panda's eyes,

those amount of coffee consumed,

those amount of sugar consumed,

and those weight I lost...

But now..XD
I got what I deserved...XD

My parents...

They're happy,

my sista were happy,

and brother was happy...

And

I'm superd duperd happy...XD
Thanks god...

I will keep it on... :)

And do it even better...

Okay, that's all my result for Y1S1..XD
Flashback ended..XD

Now back to thursday's stuff...

Happy to be with my 3 best friends..

Always feel good to be with them...

MUACKS!!
Thanks guys..XD
Weijie, Chinyee, Adrian..

LOVE YOU GUYS!!
MUACKSS!!

Went to nilai soon after my tea...

*rush...

to meet with my sista...

I can feel it...

Both of my sista were happy with my result...

And gave me reward for that...

Thankyou...XD!!

I will not be proud...

I will keep it on to do it better sista,

no need worry...xD!

I WANT TO BE IN FIRST CLASS!!

+U+U!! XD

And last day activity,

Tea again..

but with my primary's school friends..XD

Happy...

Chatted too lots that always made me to have

sore throat...XD

No gaps..XD

And thanks my fren belanja me tea this time..

haha...

whole day just like rush here rush there..

but just dont know why couldnt fall asleep now...XD

I love my sembreak...XD!

And I hate it in a way,

it caused me be fatter...>

Nvm, happy enough le..XD!
Night guys..

^^V

Topic 146

2011-10-10T07:57:00.000-07:00

10/10/2011(Monday), 11.04pm
Another 1 week sembreak before my
2nd sem of degree starts...
Sad case...
Another few days more my result gonna release...
*Nervous-ing

Hmm,

keep on thinking something this few days

and suddenly my fren told me about her relation with her bf...
And what her bf did for her that made
my fren hate him in someway...
And now,
I keep on thinking the same question,

but in anyway I couldn't get a good answer...

Everytime I try hard to forget everything about chilli,

and finally I will fell in love back...
Although I couldn't meet up with you...

Everytime I find myself some reason to make myself

to hate you, to scold you...

and eventually,

I felt sorry to you...

I wanna to get back the friendship at least...

Everytime I asked myself,

why am I so love you?
I don't know...
I don't really have some good memory with you,

perhaps there's some,

but mostly is the sad 1...

I rather kept myself on this sad case
I also don't want to leave...

Everytime I try to put down...

but in the end...

I get hurt even more...

I really don't understand what are you thinking...

Why I gave so many,

or maybe for others are just a little...

but I dont care about the quantity...
What I meant is just my whole hearted,

I gave,

but why I received from you is just

the hatred??

I reconciled...really...
Is that I'm so wrong?
Maybe you already weary about what I did...

The reality is just so cruel...
I didn't mean to get back the love...

but at least...

How many times I need to repeat?
I don't know...

I love you more than everything...

but

You hate me more than everything too...

Is it true?

I wish it is not...

Maybe everyone like me will also like this

又恨又爱...

But I don't really like it...

And after this few days of thinking,

I know that

The longer I hold,

the more difficult for me to get rid in the future..

As time passed,

if I still holding,

I will remember every moment I spent with you

and thus,

longer time for me to get rid of all those shits..

Who can teach me what else I can do?

It is so hard to put down,

but I know I'm on the way of it...

Soon after this,

it might be the end...

of my love...

Perhaps...Perhaps...

Topic 145

2011-10-01T02:25:00.000-07:00

1/10/2011, 5.30pm

Just backed from Genting...

WooHoo~!!

But not really a nice trip...

The most enjoyed moment was the time

I was lying on the bed like no body care and

enjoyed the "air-cond" cold atmosphere...

Nice atmosphere...I like it...

That's why I went there even there's only 4 persons...

Because what I wanted was just the "relax" after I had been

so stress for my final exam...

The extreme like things at there was the shower room...

Oh my....

The pressure of the water came out was so strong

that just like helping me to massage my shoulder and back...

The hottest things,

drank a little bit of beer,

face gone red, mood gone hyper,

bravo increased...

And yet felt a little bit dizzy but still went to watch movie

at first world which was so darn boring...

Backed to hotel, and watch a France movie if not mistaken,

so name "Saw7"..

Something like final destination but I liked it more,

since it was really so creative,

in the way of killing peoples,

although cruel...XD

Watched till about 3am...

Enjoyed ya...

Whole day like a "fei chai"

doing nothing...XD

Anything else?

Hmm...

Oh ya,

been alone in the hotel for about few hours...

And it was the best moment I had throughout the trip...

because without you...my dear chilli...

relaxed and watched to the nice scene with a nice drinks,

which I walked alone and listened to some songs and bought it

with a little distance...

Okay, I think all the nice things had been mentioned...

now gonna talk some craps...

*If you don't like, you can choose not to read on... :)

Think from the moment you said you can join us to Genting...

Shocked 3 of us...

And I'm still thinking...

"Why are you going, even you know only 4 of us going and I'm also the one..."

As you should know our awkward relation since the misunderstood,

and you should know there sure will be some awkward scene within the two days...

"And the last 1, if you chose to go, please be friendly my friend, can't you?"

I already made myself to be normal like usual,

just that sometimes you like 不领情...

Whole trip like assumed

I'm a transparent's person...

Person with no shadow...

I think if I don't talk to you,

I think we don't even have a conversation

throughout the whole journey...

Seems like you

can keep far away then keep...

I walked left you purposely walked right...

I'm on the bed, you on the other 1 or a sofa perhaps...

Slept beside me on the night just the coincidence,

or maybe been force to...

What you scare actually??

Scare I kiss or hug you suddenly??

I wish to do so honestly, who don't? XP

You know me for about 1year more ady,

I have so many chances to do so if I really want to...

But I'm not such a person okay?

I'm a polite 1, I know how to respect you...

If I want to do so, I won't wait until now...

Use your ass to think also know la...

If you wan to keep me far then you don't join la,

easy stuff what...just said:

"I dont want to go lo...You all go ba..."

That's the way you always reject people right??

I understand your pattern...

but I have no idea what you are thinking...

And don't say you weren't kept me far,

I'm very sensitive...I can feel it...

And it was just so obvious...

I tried to made myself hyper, end up with the same result...

Ya, I know, you answered me sometimes...

Within this 30+- hours,

how many words did you talk to me??

Or maybe I should say,

how many words did you actually speak when I'm in the scene??

If you so scare me, if you so hate me,

why don't you just choose not to join??

Just stuck at home do whatever you want la!!

Rather than faced me, and suffered all the things, right??

If you chose to go,

please don't show some not shiok de face lo...

or 闪的就闪 de pattern lo..

Or maybe you will say, I'm like that de la...

No need angry because of me what...

and bla bla bla....

This time I'm really treat you like a normal friend...

But you seems like don't bother our friendship...

Then what for I still put so many efforts in this kind of relation??

Just act as though we don't know lo...

Break all our friend relation lo...ok?

To be honest, I not willing to let go our friendship,

but it seems really hard to maintain it,

if I'm only the 1

who cares about this friendship...

You can even remember to mention the friend you boh song

but the same gang to join some events,

but I'm not included in anyway...

What am I actually in your heart??

An enemy?? Aliens? Bitch? Annoy-er??

FUCK OFF!!

Please don't like that can??

I know I'm false in some way,

or maybe sometimes my words...

But what else you want?

I apologized...I did what I can do...

But you always did something showed that you have a gap with me...

I know our relation will not get back to the old 1,

the one with a crack...

I faced the reality...

I already accepted...

Sorry, I already did my best to make you to be friend with me,

or I already didn't do annoying things to you for so long...

If you want to like that, I have no choice...

We just don't meet again my dear... :')

I'm serious...

Because the feeling of love towards you had changed

when the time you changed the way you treated me...

Thanks for being my friend and the love 1... :)

Wish you are happiness without me... XD

I choose to quit...I surrender...

If you want like that...

If you feel angry after you read this,

just to tell you that I don't mind anymore...

Let just assume we don't even meet before...k?

We're stranger since now...

If you feel we still can be friend,

and agreed with what I said...

I'm willing to do so...and did what a friend need to do...

or maybe the old me...who treat you as good as I can...

I think you might probably choose option 1...

hahaha, is ok...

Oh ya,

maybe everyone who read this may think I'm childish or whatsoever,

nvm nvm, just to tell you all that,

"I don't mind... :)"

As I don't want to fulfill everyone by changing myself in a wrong way,

or the way I don't like to be...

Maybe you don't understand my feelings,

I get my mood down easily,

although I always find my friend to grumble out my hard feelings,

but still I kept something in my heart,

that I couldn't said it to anyone in the world

cause it might influence my friendship with others...

The more I keep, the more I suffer...

The more I suffer, I lost the meaning of life even more..

Feel pointless...

Topic 144

2011-08-17T08:22:00.000-07:00

17/8,

week 12 of my degree's life,
On the passed Tuesday was so freaking exhausted,

1 assignment due date, 1 report due date, and 1 presentation...

After all that fucking shits,

and I was just so tired to do anything else,

I can even slept with my formal attire...

Today is Wednesday,

Fri will have 1 test, and sat for the another 2 tests.

I have lost my chance in the first 1, and for this,

I will try my very best not to pass, but to score...

It's hard, so what?

To success, we must need to go through a lot of failures and

stand firm to what target we have set for ourselves...

I wont give up...XD

Feel Emo,
Emm,

1 year already passed...

5 more days, is the exact date that my chilli started to treat me abnormally...

Loved you for 1 year, but nothing good to be remember...

Eventhough all the shits are hurting,

but yet it is better than no...

I alive without ur existence recently,

but I'm not happy at all...

No one here can really make me smile from the heart,

except you...

Although we have nothing much to talk,

but a little response from you,

and it can really make me happy whole day long,

or even whole month long...

I'm getting mature,

I dont wan to bring so much troubles to others...

I dont wanna to disturb you...

I dont even wanna to mention anything about you in front of my buddy again,

but I failed...

By now I realized,

the more I wanna to get rid of you,

the deeper I felt in love to you...TT

The every single pieces of memory are still in my mind,

so clearly...

I can even write out the whole things happened since 16/8/2010..

Flashback,

16/8/2010,

Sem 1, math test 3, monday...

You still haven noe that I love you...

Tz 10 were sitting at the class beside the physics lab and revised,

now the class already become office,

you was sitting in front of me,

in the half way of study,

I sent you a msg,
"你好认真哦~！:P"

hahahahaha, just like a little kids,

and smiling at there,

then u said:

"Xiao po, 无聊"之类的...

hahaha, ur smile that time already carved on my heart and mind...

After the test....

You dont noe how to do,

and you're emo...

today sl was not with you, and not as usual...

You didnt follow us for dinner...

*heartached

That night we ate at "wei chi jie" at ss2,

and ur alone at home,

once we found the seat,

without thinking anything,

I msg-ed you, ask if wanna to "da bao" for you or not...

and you said "no, you will eat biscuit..."

the day passed...

17/8/2010,

Tues,

you dont even talked about 20 words since the morning,

you're still unhappy because of the math test,

wc ajak-ed you to go sunway,

and that was the ever and last time,

you date me, oppss..should say us to go together...

Rmb, that after class,

That was the ever first called you called me...

The first time I received the call from you...haha..

After our bio lecture, we went sunway,

you was sitting in wc's car...

and I was following at the back...

That day afternoon was raining,

and my car is broadcasting the song of "eenie minnie"

After we reached there,

sl was not with you, because who was listening to a phone call and stood aside...

while the time waiting them to get us the student id,

you was standing alone in the corner...

And because you're not in mood,
as usual, I tried to make you laugh and chatted with me...

With the word "ngam", you laughed...

That was the first time I saw you laughed that day...

I didnt join for the movie session, at least ur mood was get back to normal,

then I left...

Still rmb that day actually I'm extremely tired...but still I went there...

But it was worth because can see your smile backed...XD

18/9/2010,

Wednesday,

And this was the day, that I begin my continuous sad things...

This day, your ID was with me, and I purposely exchanged with mine...

We played as usual...

And I think I'm the one that you first to allow me to see ur phone photo,

*except sl I think.

and that's how the things happened....:'(

Because of my mouth,

I made you angry,

and because of ur anger,

I wrote to you that:

"because I only care about your feelings..."

"I just wanna to make you happy..."

And those fucking shits in fb chat...

and I think, that's how you noe I love you...

19/8/2010,

Thurs,

I kept on say sorry to you,

and yet I felt somethings wrong,

Some feelings that telling me you already knew something went wrong...

Emo-ed for whole day...

20/8/2010,

Fri,

Replacement of CT presentation,

As how u treated me on thurs...

I lost my mood, even during my presentation...

22/8/2010,

Sun,

And this was the day I confessed with you on fb....

23/8/2010,

This was the day I started my non-stop tears throughout the whole year,

and since this day, every single day until now,

I miss you until I cry sometimes...

The night I kept calling you,

and do you noe?

since that day, everytime I listened to the song
"礼物", I confirm will cry and my heart just like giving ppl stabbed several times without a pause...

The msg I will never forgot:

"我接受不了你所讲的话。。。我需要时间。。。对不起"

Every single quotation I still rmb...
I repeat reading this msg everynight after that...
and I didnt fail to cry everytime...

The one year nightmare have started that time...

I can really write every single scene between you and me

since that day....with details...

I really really hate myself for so loving you...:'(

The miss was always killing me...

I know you dont wan like this...

But do you think I like to be like this?

I cant control myself..
Everyday after 16/8/2010,

I still can remember very clearly,

as though it was just happened yesterday...

I'm really sorry for writing those shits again,

I promised to end that case, but sorry,

can you just leave me alone and

at least let me to express my feelings here, k?

If not I think I really will have serious mental problems...

Please dont care...I will try hard to act I'm ok...

Just dont think that I'm talking about you,

if you really read it,

just think that you just read a literature...k?
Sorry, I'm emo...

So I wrote this...
And do you noe,

everytime I think that " I love You"

I cried violently...:'(

Everytime I tell you I love you
I cried even more seriously~! :'(

Two times enough...TT

Topic 143

2011-08-02T07:17:00.000-07:00

Week 10...

I still remember exactly last year I was having chicken pox disease,

now in degree,

same, I felt sick during the "war" time...
I never been this stress before,

2 reports, 4 assignments, test around the corner...
So much work, is ok for me,

but the problem is, those questions are just so freaking hard man...>

I'm stress because I dont know how to solve,

even MATH bully me...TT
Totally different compare to foundation...

In foundation,
I slept in lecture class, skipped tutorial class,
played equipment during practical class...

But with my hardworking, I know I can do it...

In degree,
I listened in lecture class, I try to do tutorial,
I'm serious during lab session...
+ more hardworking than foundation,

still there have some questions I dont know how to solve...
But still I believe I can handle it...
I fall sick, headache, whole body is out of energy...
Maybe this reasons made me fall to a superd bad mood,

that I felt my life now is so meaningless...

I try hard to be independent without someone's existence...
I try hard to forget everything,
but yet, every single memory still so clear in my mind...
I couldnt get rid all this fucking shits...
I tried...my frens...
Many peoples said I'm stupid...
Ya, so what?? I admitted...
But who knows what situation I'm in??

I have 3 drafts before this post...
All of that had written about what my feelings was,
but eventually, I just saved it as draft...
As I know, that might be feel annoying to someone...

Congratulations to the fucking ass hole bastard,

who really achieved what he wanted..
I seriously put so lots of effort to get back a good frenship with chilli...
And now all things burst because of you...
Happy?? Ya, I know you are...

Today was 2/8/2011,

exactly 20 more days are the date I confessed...XD
But so what?? It just a suffer memory...

The person who suffered a lots was me,

I also dont care all this suffering stuff,
why are you so worry my frens?

I'm tough...haha, ya I'm...
I know if I carry on like this,

I will getting more hurt...
Let's just give me some times more...
I dont care suffering...
Suffer until I break down every night,

suffer until I cant do anything else,

suffer until I'm sick...
I will still stand firm with my opinion...
I'm a stubborn fella...XD
Let's see how I die in the future..

p/s: DONT MISUNDERSTANDING LA WEI, I WILL NOT COMMIT SUICIDE LA...XD

Topic 142

2011-06-29T08:07:00.000-07:00

28/6,
A bad day, I received 3 dead news within 1 night...
Really sad, those difficult to express feelings is just so killing.

1st,
my dear fren's bro was just passed away...
seriously moody after listened to that news.

damn shocked,

I cant believe this kind of thing will really happened to me,

I think newspaper nowadays was just reporting this hot topic.

Who jump down from the 4th floor of yu hua,

hmm, really complicated feelings,

the second time I experienced such cases,

but this 1 was more sudden than the previous 1.
Hope my dear fren can recover soon,
will always be there to support.
2nd,

my fren's relation,
hmm...although nothing related to me,
but maybe the first 1 + 2 one already made me damn depressed...
3rd,

my lecturer's bf's mom,

this is more far away from my relation,

hope everyone could rest in peace...

29/6,

ok, which is today,
my mood haven get back to normal,
and now my best fren did a GREAT JOB~!!
he betrayed me....
Good, really good job, keep on,

let's see what will happen next,
I treated you as my best fren, told you everything,
and now you....
Ok, fine,
just to tell you that you will never success,
dont try to play with me,
you haven got the qualification to challenge me,

please beware of your words~
I will never forgive such a fren like you,
if u wan to act 为大, please fuck off~!
Dont act in front of me....
Think of what you said before feel wanna vomit...
I treated all my frens as dearest, and now u trying to
pull our relation again?
Fuck off~~! Fuck back to your kedah~

Topic 141

2011-05-27T09:16:00.000-07:00

28/5,

Hmm, 2 more days, I will officially proceed to my degree...TT
My final decision was proceed with
Electrical and Electronic Engineering...

I think I would really have a hardship in studying this course,

but I have no choice,

Engineering is the toughest course I think...
I seriously hope to get a good result instead of a pass result...

I dont wan to just pass, I'm greedy I know...XD!

I will clear all the distraction that stop me from getting good result,

will not study like my foundation,

everytime just know how to play, and used my time in the wrong way...

But I know in Y1S1, I will still use my time in a SUPERD wrong way,

no people will know what I'm going to do,

and yet I dont wan anyone to know too...

Because it was just so stupid to mention about it...

Ok,

just backed from sungei wang,

just met LINDA CHUNG!!!
WOW~~!!
Seriously, she is very leng lui~~!!
Hmm, anything else beside this?

Oh ya, I captured many photosss by using wj's camera,

WOW, something like dslr, but not dslr...XD!

Quite clear, and yet nice to play with photo-shooting...XD!

Will really wish to own a real DSLR soon...>

and yet, I think my blog had become more boring to me,

because I lost the spirit of writing blog,

and also, I dont dare to write my real feeling anymore,

because once I write it,

I will mention my dear chilli again,

and I will try my best to stop everything about chilli...

because I already said,

we are friend,

and I will try my best not to do everything beyond what a friend should do...

But I know recently, I did too lots....>

Topic 140

2011-05-14T07:24:00.000-07:00

Hmm,
Do u all interest in the past genting trip that I experienced?

Haiz, nothing much to say about that la,

because...
very less things happened also,

and we didnt captured any photo for that trip...XD!

So, just proceed to another title la...

Well, as a utarian,
we should noe that result had released on thursday 12/5,

and as usual, I was helping my mom in doing some chores,

in a sudden, I received a call and asked me,

"怎样？"

LOL! U expect me to understand this two words who was still in a blur situation...

Then i rushed down and looked at my result,

this time my result was worse than sem 2,

but yet i feel ok with it...because in sem3,

I really very lazy...

Haiz, forget it la, as long as I can proceed my degree safely can jor,

my target for cgpa 3.0 gone, my target for gpa 3.5 has no longer been considered...XD!

After ok with mine, the most important person i called...
Hmm, I think I should stop about it again...
Cause, it was just another sad case...

Hmm, all things at the upper part of this post was actually being updated on 14/5,
but i just currently saved in draft...
Today 20/5...
What a nice day...520
haha, but it's just a date for me...nothing special...XD!

Well,
3 more days my orientation will be start,

hmm, proceed to my degree...

Hopefully,

I wont experience the same thing as my foundation then is ok ady...

But I know that my life will be getting tougher and tougher...

Degree....
Electrical & Electronic Engineering,

is it suitable for me?

will i regret after taking that?

I really have no idea...
Just see how could it be...

Topic 139

2011-05-05T18:43:00.000-07:00

Hey guys~!!
Stop those sensitive and touching stuff on fb la,

Just start some others here...XD!
Seriously,

we will meet many "pass by fren" in our life,

but yet, I feel TZ 10 really is the best...
We gave each other many memories,
we played, eat, study, presentation, prepare for test, having dinner after test,
doing assignment all together,

though, we have entertainment together also...

You all should know why we are not willing to leave each other.
Within this one year,
I believe the time I spent with u all is more than my family,
Everytime we met each other since the morning till the afternoon,
sometimes to the night...

PLAYED,
When the time I sang, u all will kept on zap me,

and called me to shut up...
I sang the song "qing ren" for xh and erixxxx...
I did many nooby faces...
We kept on "zat-ing" each other...
We played during the lecture class by dirtying others notes with XD's face,
and stealing each other's pen...
We slept together during bio lecture class...
We mixed those chemical until we obtained colourful one...

WE PLAYED LIKE A CHILDREN...

STUDY
We are very serious sometimes,

everytime test we study together for about 4-6 hours in the mat sat,

we da bao food from canteen and enjoying it at mat sat,

we kept on asked xh things about study who made her so busy...

And yet distracting her...XD!

During lecture class,
We kept on commenting on those lecture...
How bad was him/her,

Y he so cheong hei one!! XD!

We got back our test paper and telling each other that we are nervous...

ASSIGNMENT

Although we are not in the same group,

yet we helped each other to complete the pc assignment together...

We finished test 3 for math and went to shirley's house to do the pc assignment,

9 of us if not mistaken,

we did until midnight,

until we are tired we just lied on the floor all together and talking in a low volume,

because we had used up all the energy...XD!

still remember hf and my geh sei yong...XD!!

Panda eyes until we cant recognized them...XD!

I knew I missed up a lots of things,

because I really dont know how to express all those thing out,
Let's us kept all this memory in our heart...
Thanks for giving me so lots of memories and coloured my foundation life,

without u all i'm nothing...XD!
And also sorry for some quarreled and misunderstanding we have.

Our friendship will like a circle which has no ends...
I know we still can meet up with each other,

but that time the feel was different ady...
Just cherish every single moment we have with the next gang of frens...
Will miss u guys forever...

And my dear chilli,

dont feel sorry to me,

you didnt do wrong anything...
It's all my fault...
Thanks and sorry too....
You're always in my heart...
Everything should come to the end,

let it become the good ending rather than continue

and dont know what's going to happen next...
To be honest,

You're the one I love the most...
I love You...
And Goodbye...TT

Topic 138

2011-04-23T10:52:00.000-07:00

24/4,

Now the clock is showing 1.53am...
Not that i dont wan to sleep,

is just that I could fall asleep....@@

Lied on the bed since 10.30pm...WTF!!
One more day to go for final,

in the mean time,

one more week to stay at PJ UTAR...
What is my feeling of leaving this campus?

Quite conflict actually...

I felt sometimes times passed like aeroplane and yet

sometimes slow like a snail walking...

This campus gave me a lotSSS of memories,

the SAD one,

Seriously,

within this one year, I learnt a lotssss....

No matter in social, education and something ones should experience...

2010 was the SADDEST year of my life i think...

I knew in the future will be much more,

but the ever first time,

I think the memories shouldnt leave my mind anymore...

I meant the SAD one...

Somehow i felt regret that i didnt put 100% of my effort on study,

but yet i didnt feel regret to put 100% care on my chilli...

It's already 10days i didnt see you and chat with you,

I know you was preparing for the final,

so I also dont wan to give kacau...

What i did?
Study lo...
But this one last sem, I made myself not so stress...

because i know stress can make a ppl forget anything,

and couldnt analyse problem carefully,

So, just slow and steady la...

There is a looking forward trip for me is 3/5...

Genting trip...@@
What you expect la, instead of genting....

My dear chilli will also be going wo...XD!

sure need to look forward to it la...

But I confirm I will very feel uncomfortable with ur presence...

Oh ya, I just like somehow forgot to mention that
I fren with my chilli again... XD!

Better care, better relation...XD!

What you all expect wo, friendship only ma...xD!

To be fren with you is just more than enough..

I promised I wont do the same stupid thing again,

because i know sometimes it hurts me...

Well, because of insomia I update this post...

Now I think is time for me to revise again...

After one week...XD!!!
I think my wings are fully prepare...XD!

Topic 137

2011-04-05T06:08:00.000-07:00

It was just so unbelievable that the last sem has come till the end,

and now i dont even start to prepare about my final exam...

2 more weeks to go,

what can i do instead of study?

Haiz...
This sem coursework marks were just so terrible,

compare to last sem,

hmm, I think what i promised myself last time has become a lie,

it was just so impossible to get 3.5 for this sem...

What I looking for?

cgpa at least 3.00 la kawan,

If not how to survive wo...XD

Well, it just like getting more and more activity recently,

should stop all those distraction start from now...

Concentrate on study...XD!

2011-03-29T02:01:00.000-07:00

从不知道对方的名，

到认识的彼此。

直到我爱上你，

被你发现后，

变成最熟悉的陌生人。

经过半年的心思和时间，

从建回的友情，

维持了两个多月，

再因为误会，

我们又当从不认识。。

好像连戏剧。。。
我真不可想像这事情发生过。。。

2011-03-25T07:43:00.001-07:00

我用了多过半年的时间和心思去修补这段感情，
难得感情好了那么的一点点，

结果就给我的一时心情暴躁摧毁了一切。。。

我第一次在众人面前控制不住我自己，
泪水就就是那么一直的狂流。。。
我，

失控了。

我，

很想失意。

因为我知道我没有资格去了断我的生命。。。

2011-03-23T16:49:00.001-07:00

我想迟早有一天我会疯掉。。。

2011-03-14T00:48:00.000-07:00

原来真的有那么的一刻我是如此想念你。

我不能让我的脑袋停此对你做出的思念，

也许你不想听，也不想看，

但我只想诉苦。

事情告诉了我，

千万别太奋不顾身的去喜欢上一个人，

尤其是，错的人，

真的是，不上不下。。

心情和思想永远无法得到宁静。。。

很多东西都是明知道的，

但就是无法解决自己那凌乱的内心世界。。

无时无刻，我都会想到那么的一首歌。。

爱得太真太容易让自己牺牲

太容易让自己沉沦
太容易不顾一切满是伤痕
我太笨明知道你是错的人
明知道这不是缘分
但是我还奋不顾身

它不断反映著我所面对的困境。。。

最近的我仿佛越来越喜爱用歌词来表达

自己的心情。。

别认为是你在伤害我，

也别怪责你自己，

因为你已经没有在伤害我了，

你还对我很好，

你对我的友情很真，

只是我自己不懂得如何处理自己的问题。。。

2011-03-12T10:22:00.000-08:00

看回以前自己写的文章，

才知道原来以前到现在的我，

曾经有那么痛苦过。。。
这事情慢慢的在变化着，

没人懂，下一刻会发生什么事情。。。

Topic 136

2011-03-12T09:46:00.000-08:00

13/3,

The second idol I chased for,

Anthony~~!!
Wakao, cant imagine that he really so

freaking handsome that I really couldnt take my eyes off him...

Well, he seriously attractive...XD

This sem was just so freaking busy,

test non-stop and yet,

disappointed non-stop...

I just couldnt imagine that I done my past two math test

so freaking badly...

I already make everything in a very low profile...

Yet, what I get??

Disappointment again..

I wont failed, yet I wont score...

The hope to get gpa 3.5 has gone...

I knew i couldnt do it anymore,

since this sem's subject I really dont have interest in it...

Other than education...

I think my relation with chilli had recovered mostly...

Sorry for using this name again,

since it was so impossible for me to mention the name...

*privacy mah...XD

Well, just like what I hoped for the past half year,

I just wan back a friendship only,

and not others...

But just forgive me that I am not able to treat you

as a normal friend...

Since your position had lead me to being so eccentric...

Well, anything else?

Oh ya, maybe this was the last post I mention about

my dear chilli...

Because there is nothing much to say about you,

and yet I dont wan to comment anything anymore,

cause I know you will be reading this,

and I scare once you see me post something about you,

you will get far away from me again...

So, I chose to close my mouth ady...

No more...

Maybe there will be no more chilli in my blog...

Maybe, this person will come out sometimes in this blog...

Maybe, cant be 100%...XD

Topic 135

2011-02-11T08:18:00.000-08:00

13/2

Just like what I had mentioned before,
"I will lost in this near future.."
It came true,
but yet it really good to me and you,
at least there is the end of this case,
at least I know what the truth,
although i really accepted it with a hardship...
I love you,
it was real,
I couldn't lie to myself anymore..
The comment i leave in fb,
"How good was it if everything can back like before..."
then the status i updated in fb,
"叫人“放下”很容易，因为面对问题的不是你。要放下，谈何容易。。。"
lead you to update a status that was so often you will post...
I think about the status for the whole night,
couldnt sleep,
couldnt concentrate during my combo 6 hours lecture classes...

My mind full of question mark...
"Are you saying something that referring to me?"
"Is it you can forget this case as well?"
"Is it a bad news or good news for me?"
"Are you trying to give me some hint?"

I have no idea,
my tears dropped non-stop,
I'm not as tough as my face showed...
My heart was actually made by glass...
I couldnt stop thinking once i saw ur status...

In the afternoon of the other day,
tears made my eyes too tired and finally I felt asleep...
And even the dream was also torturing me,
in the dream, I asked you is it the person referring to me...
Just everything about you...

Once I woke up,
finally i made my decision to send you a msg and asked for the truth...
The longest text you sent to me, but the most hurt msg I ever received..
There was just so impossible to dont feel sad, my dear chilli...
I know you also not willing to look that my tear give to you...
But sorry,
even myself also lost control from me..
Dear...sorry, I love you...TT

I will really put you down this time...
I'm glad that you gave me advised and told me the truth,
but i just need some times...
I know it already half year...
But i need much more seriously...

Topic 134

2011-01-22T06:00:00.000-08:00

It's already the beginning of sem 3,
this few weeks I really happy,
yet sad in the same time...
I'm happy because the relation between me and my dear chilli
was so much better than before...
But yet the conflict feelings within myself will never been solve...
I'm sad because of sem 2 results...
Not only mine, but my friends as well,
everyone was unsatisfied with it...

Sad case 1,
because I really couldn't accept my result,
Is it so hard to get at least a A-?
I lost again,
the feelings come to me again...
I walked out the examination hall with confident again...
I felt proud of myself again...
That's y the god tried to give me a punishment,
it wan me to experience what is FAILURE,
experience what is the effect of proud!!
This sem 3 I will not be too confident again...I promised...

Sad case 2,
this case from my dear chilli,
who failed one sub,
but luckily you didnt under probation,
if not really wtf, sem 5 will be with you..
Hope you can face it toughly,
nothing much to talk about you with this topic...

Another SUPERD sad case,
I wonder why utar really so cruel,
my friend already in sem 3 and that was the last sem for her,
but unluckily she failed one sub and u trying to get her
waste 3 months time to repeat this only sub...
What a waste?
waste time, waste money... Not really fair ok?

Sad case 4,
When the time I was carrying up my clean-up,
I received a call,
the caller list was listing my dearest fren who always called me out for tea,
as usual, and with hope,
she was inviting me to have tea that time,
but in a sudden,
she told me that her mother had just passed away...
I stunned when I heard that bad news...
I dont know what to say...
I dont know how to give a comfort...
The only thing i could do was just giving her some support...
What else?
I couldnt give help...
Sorry my fren, I cant help u for sharing...
I cant help u for comforting u...
Sorry that listened the sadest news from u...
Hope u can face it toughly and happily...
We will always support u...

Well, sad cases should close here...

Back to some topic,
Akhem...XD
Well,
just like what I wrote just now,
relation was getting better and better with my dear chilli...
But some sort of conflict feeling have come to me...
This time was my turn to scare you...
I dont know y recently when I wanna talk to you,
I looked into your eyes, I will feel scare,
really, thus,
I will quickly look at somewhere else and continue my topic...
I did crazy like before,
I talked lots,
I played lots in the public...
I acted some stupid action to make you laugh again...
But all of this was just my acting...
By now i only realised acting was hard..
Somehow some bad and sad feeling comes to my heart...
Yet I was happy when you laugh at me,
talked with me,
played with me recently...
I know i will never treat you as a fren anymore,
in my heart, your position was just over than this,
so how can I...
Haiz...
I think I will lost again in this near future...
because you was just so good,
and attracting more and more ppls,
I know i couldnt stop all this,
and I wont stop it even if i can,
because I also hope you can find one that really can treat you good,
and you both love each other...
I know I'm stupid to write all this...
I know I'm...
But do u all know,
fall in love to someone that you cant love is really a hardship?
Crying every night with no reason...
Missing you everynight like an idiot..
I really hope I can put it down,
but is it really so easy to put down someone u so in love?
If really can, then i sure u doesnt love the person actually...

Conflict...really very conflicting...
I hope to talk to you,
yet I scare to do so...

I accept the cruel reality unhappily,
with tear following me all the time,
heartache throughout the whole day,
acted nothing when everyone was there...

Topic 133

2010-12-15T07:53:00.000-08:00

There's been quite a long time I didnt update my blog,
since I'm so busy to prepare so lots of things,
test, reports, assignment, presentation, tutorial questions & so on...
12 days more to go until the final exam,
what i should do? study of cause...
But I just like some how lost my motivation,
too lazy, kept on sleeping and playing badminton,
but I believe when the time goes to 7 days,
I will be like a.....
Akhem...
Target for this sem?
I'm not greedy, gpa above 3.15 is more than enough,
because base on my coursework marks,
it is ok to get this if I am able to do well in my final,
K, the stress for final is coming,
I felt it,
I so hate this kind of feeling which make my mood so damn bad...

Oh, should say back something happened recently,
Sem 3 timetable!!
Really what the fuck la this 1,
almost everyday 3pm class end,
sienz la wei,
the only thing I felt boring is,
it was so impossible to have a nap on afternoon!!
WTF~
the line on the orange cc was quite good,
but we did a very wrong mistake throughout the time
we chose the slot....
That's y all our timetable just like....
Rearrange my timetable on the midnight to see whether
can set a same class with akhem *somebody or not...XD
Too sad, only 2 classes i'm able to switch which enable me to same with you la...
is ok, the other day you switched yours again...
*happy....
5 CLASSES~~!
TEEHEE~~!!
Maybe will feel awkard to meet with you la,
but...
Haiz, I also dont know how to express my conflict feelings...
In conclusion,
my sem 3 timetable was not that bad la,
is still acceptable...

Oh ya, there's something already pass for almost 3 weeks...
It's ur birthday, monday...
Surprise 1,
I'm waiting you in wong kok,
but I know it made you not so in mood,
it's ok, I wont force, gradually...
but dont know why, everytime went out,
you were almost everytime sat opposite me, XD
Surprise 2,
cake was being taken out from somewhere behind you,
when the time I put it in front of you,
the soft & serious voice :" Happy Birthday."
Your eyes were not looking at me,
but still there was a replied, "Thank you..."
Soon after enjoying the cake,
I quicky parked my car at somewhere near dai lou's car.
and....
Surprise 3,
the present that prepared for 2 months was finally on your hand,
the stars, the wishes, every single things were made by myself and
of cause ribbon from meiyan and toothpick from xiao hwa...XD
thank to my frens who all walked at behind you so far away,
leading you and your fren both walked towards me,
and the ngong koi me,
:"Erm, xxxxxxx 啊，这个送给你的。。。"
:"Thank you ah x2"
OmG!!
still remember it was same as first time i gave you the tong shui,
I blushed,
and jumped back to my car,
because the respond you gave was just so......
AMAZING~~!!
The smiled you gave me that moment was the
BEST, REAL, TRUE, SWEETEST....
With stupid,
I walked back towards you and reminded that should hold in
such a horizontal way,
noob kia....
It was so excited....
So hope that time can go back to the moment
you smiled to me,
since 3 months I didnt see the true smile...
I really happy,
I felt that the sacrifice of 2 months were just so worth,
I know i'm stupid,
2 months changed 1 minute...
I think that was the 3 surprises I gave....
Oh ya,
I received a surprise from you too...
The msg...Based on this 3 months period,
I really dont think that you will send me a msg and say thank you,
BUT YOU DID!!
You did sent me and appreciate it...XD
I really hope that present you will keep it well,
that present I really put quite a "xin shi"
to make it...really hope you will cherish it...
This plan operate till quite smooth,
and must
Thanks to my fren who help me up for this plan,
and present...XD

Ya, maybe I'm too stupid,
I dont think our relation can get back like before,
and I so hope that we only have a quarrel,
instead of this awkard feelings...
If we have quarrel, it was just so easy,
no matter it's your fault, I will also apologise to you...
But the problem is not like this,
it's worse...

And ya, I'm stupid,
but though I'm proud because I'm sober enough,
there's a case, a 22 years old boy commit suicide
just because of a four months relationship...
How STUPID?!?!
You this kind of thing wan to commit suicide 1 time,
then I think I will be die for 5 times also not enough lo...
If he able to think clearly,
that's not the way,
he still have the chance to go with her,
he at least been with her for four months,
he at least took so lots of memorable photo with her,
he....
Baby, that was not the way seriously,
u want to show that you love her and so u commit suicide?
How stupid...

How about me, Little baby?
I have no chance,
I have not been with my lover,
I have no memorable photo,
I only be with for less than 2 months!
Little baby, I'm not the one at the worst situation...
There's still many ppls behind us have a tough road...
If you love someone and must get back the love from her,
then please stop the stupid thinking way..
Love a person,
u should not disturb her,
or made her felt uncomfortable...
If u felt sad, just cry, who knows? who cares?
Times can cure many things...
If u really love her,
u can do somethings to help her out at the back,
because this way at least can make u feel better,
not everytime need to show that what u had given...
But what I said was useless,
cause u was unable to see the msg i meant to give...

The fourth month is coming since the day I told you...
Quite fast right?
but I dont think so, I've been suffered...
Sienz la wei,
sometimes give me some happy things,
sometimes...haiz...
K, I think I should stop now....stop talking about you...XD

Friends...
You all must keep it out,
lim, chicken, teck teck...
I wan to see you all in sem 3!!
That day when I was sitting at there,
chicken was walked far away from me, with the back faced me,
A sudden strong felt that made me so unhappy,
the ever first time I felt so "不舍得"
the feeling was just so hard to express...
I looked at your back...
and think lot of thing,
if the 3rd sem without you all,
what will be...
I sad...
Please, keep it up,
I will help you all, although I know I'm not clever enough,
but at least I can help you all to pass...
Cheer~~!!

Topic 132

2010-11-12T04:44:00.000-08:00

I'm not a qualified student...

I'm too confident to myself,

and so, i have fallen so badly when i got my math test's result...

I always think that myself is a math pro,

I have the qualification to be the first owner of math in my group...

But now i realised,

the confident you give yourself greater,

the feeling of failure is greater too!
I'm failure in so many ways,

the first time I lost,

was the time I knew my sem 1's math got a B+,

the first time i didnt get A,

Dont say that i'm trying to show off,

I'm NOT!!

Because math was the only subject i can score,

and the subject I like...

That's y I must make it as perfect as I can

It was my only hope...

But after today,

I lost again,

That day,

I walked out from the examination hall with

GREAT confident...

I thought i can at least get 30 and above,

but now....T.T

I'm so sad, I'm so lost....

Who knows?
I just acted nothing and continue to play with it....

When I think of it,

I feel that you are so happiness, you know?

When you were sad or down,

no matter the action was how stupid,

or the joke was so bad that no one will laugh at,

I also will do it out,

to make you happy...

You dont know...

You only will scare me,

you only will try to get me further away when you read this.

When you were sick,

I worry, i dont dare to find you,

I just text you to take care yourself,

because I scare when I give you too much,

you will felt afraid...

But still, I worry.

But this few days I got fever and coughed until my lungs almost

came out,

you saw,

you didnt even give a DAMN!

Am I really so wrong that I'm not deserved to get

only a word from you?

What you treat me as?

A superd normal friend will also give a care la,

but you.

haiz...not your fault,

Is my fault, I'm just so stupid, k?

I followed your tail, you knew it,

I just stayed there to accompany as long as I can,

I do so lots of thing not because I'm really so fucking free,

Is because I'm still in love...

You're right,

you should treat me like this!

you should make me "die heart",

I'm wrong,

I'm wrong in told you I love You,

but I didnt regret,

because it was my choice to tell you the truth...

During the time we sat on the movie,

I dont know you're trying to get far from me,

or you wan to sit with dai lou,

Nvm, both reasons will also make me sad,

that's your decision...

I'm sorry,

sorry for writing those things,

which will make you feel uncomfortable,

sorry...

Maybe I'm just so down and sad,

maybe I think too lots....

Sorry...

just so Sorry to you...

Next,

luckily today there's something that make me feel a still have hope,

that was

PRESENTATION!

WooHOO~~!!

Presented it quite well,

although I'm nervous,

and kept on jumping there...

But the jumping lead my marks to become higher

because it was treated as I'm so energetic.

In honest,

I didnt memorize the scrip,

I just read through it,

because the whole scrip I wrote myself,

so I can depends on my understanding and spoke it,

The highest mark I think,

which was same as alvin...XD

This presentation went so success-ly,

I need to thanks a person,

ALVIN~!!!

Thanks for helping me those
STUFF~~!!

Really appreciate it...XD

Topic 131

2010-11-07T00:40:00.001-07:00

WOOHOO~~!!

Just have a trip at sepang goldcoast.

Not really...

is just nearby goldcoast,

went to the seaside and enjoying being

hit by the seawave...

After competed with a lot of transport pro

blem,

finally we reached there...

WOO~~
What a wonderful evening view...

I just so enjoy lying on the seaside,

and being hit by the seawave and listen to its sound...

really felt that all the stress was being put aside,

when the time i was lying,

i saw only saw stars in the black sky,

and felt that water was supporting me up...

It was just so enjoy...

After took the shower,

we went to have our dinner in somewhere that i dont

know...

Backed to the house we rent and soon,

They started to bbq...
=.=||

and me also started to gamble...

mahjong and cards...

played until 4 am,
and the result...
win of cause...XD

beh ta han...
go sleep...

The another day,

woke up and started to gamble again...>.

and they also started bbq at the afternoon, 12.00...>.

Almost 4pm then we only started our way back to home...

With a long time of conflicted whether attend this trip or not,

finally i had chosen to attend,

I just have too many things to worry and care,

I worry i will emo suddenly,

I worry the scene will be awkward when you are there,

i worry....

When the time at dai lou's house, i really felt like not going...

I thought too lots of things!!
But, after this trip, everything i worry was not a problem ady.

Thank for being nothing with me throughout the whole trip,

talked to me,

played with me,

you know who you are,

In this moment i only realised time can cure many things,

but this 2.5months was really a hardship for me,

hope everything will back to normal when time pass...

Thank you...

The another day, dont know y suddenly my body have no energy,

felt tired, and HOT!!

OMG, fever!!

Woke up at 11.30am and kept on lying on the bed,

Luckily my sister was there who kept on reminded me to drink water,

gave me the medicine,

made spaghetti for me,

looked after me...

Some more, when she went out,

every one hour interval she called me and reminded me to drink water....
T.T

so touch~~

Thanks jie...
Really appreciate it,

I promised i will study as hard as i can...

wont make you disappoint...

Topic 130

2010-10-06T06:41:00.000-07:00

明明很想哭，却还在笑。

明明很在乎，却装作无所谓。

明明很想留下，却坚定的离开。

明明很痛苦，却偏偏说自己很痊愈了。

明明忘不掉，却说已经忘了。

明明放不下，却说他是他，我是我。

明明舍不得，却说我已经受够了。

明明说的是违心的假话，却说那是自己的真心话。

明明眼泪都快溢出眼眶，却高昂着头。

明明已经无法挽回，却依旧执着。

明明知道说这样的话会伤害他，却忍着心疼装作轻松的说出口。

明明知道自己很受伤，却说你不必觉得欠我的。

明明这样『伪装』着很累，却还得依旧……

对不起，此刻我真得无法将你放弃。。。

Topic 129

2010-09-22T08:46:00.000-07:00

First, i just finished read my dear friend's blog...
I felt i'm such a failure!!
I'm a failure in love and friendship!
I don't even know my friend's was in such a terrible mood...
And he even felt lifeless after he got the result...
Being a friend, I really gave no comfort,
and did nothing when he lost...
I'm such a bitch friend right?
This kind of friend no need also nevermind le...
What I knew is just how to put the effort on my lover,
and how to think a better way to get close to my lover...
This person made me suffer so lotSS,
I just couldn't get rid of you in my mind...
What I did to friend?
I dont even know how to give comfort to him who had
fallen into such a terrible situation!
I'm sorry my dear friend....u know who u are...

Low Hui Ting!!!
What You know was just thinking of the bitch Person
who did NOTHING to u!
who didnt gave u a CARE!

Hui Ting,
can u please control urself?!?!
People already did until so cruel le,
you still wanna to stick to this endless game?
Do u ever think of others thing beside that Person?
There so many others things waiting for u to solve,
waiting u to take care...
BUT U JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO PUT THAT PERSON DOWN!!!
The Person was just nothing to u,
the only thing the Person gave u was the memory,
one and the half month happy memory,
and ONE month SAD memory!
Do that Person really worth to receive all this kind of things that u did?
I dont think that Person will give u a damn!
Please, low hui ting....put that person away...
Dont think le...Forget it bah...
Although I know it is the hardest thing for u...
I just dont care how u made it,
cry, smile, laugh, emo or what so ever...
just forget that Person...
What u need is time....
Please surrender...
u will not have a happy ending with that Person...
No matter how much u unwilling, how u suffer...
Just forget bah, I dont wan to suffer together with u le...
I'm tired, I dont wanna to get such a result anymore,
I just wan to focus...
So please stop thinking that Person can?

Maybe the answer could be NO.
Because i still have feel...>.

Topic 128

2010-09-20T08:41:00.000-07:00

放手？
至少可以挽回友情，
至少不用这样尴尬，
至少我不会这样辛苦，
我也不会傻下去，
更不用给我的心一次又一次痛下去。。。
可是，我却很不舍得，虽然我知道永远不会有结果。
我真得很不想放手。。。
现在我很讨厌你，
可是，
我还很喜欢你。。。
我真的真的很不舍得你~
我想回以前我跟你玩得很开心的时候，
我笑了。。。
当我知道这些事没有可能再发生时，
我痛得说不出那种滋味。。
不是我，不会明白。
我现在真的很想再哭，
可是我相信我能够很坚强酱我的泪水，
从眼睛吞回喉咙去！！
当你说你还需要时间的时候，
我真的是气到很想杀人！！
对！我真的很想一把两把地扫过去给你！
你有曾体会过我的感受？？
我也是人，我也有心去感觉，
两个星期那样容易啊？
你每说一句对不起，
我就恨自己多一程。
我很想放手，可是我真的真的很不舍得。。。

不放手？
我只会像现在那样，
痛苦的挣扎，
伤心到不会留眼泪了，
痛到没有知觉。。。
我只是不想放弃。。。

我的心明明就不想放开，
我明明都不舍得，
我明明就很喜欢你。。。
可是全世界都要我放手，
我有什么怨言也只能收着，
我没有选择，
这是命运，我的命运。。
喜欢的不能说，痛苦。
喜欢而说，更痛苦。。

我失恋了，一厢情愿地失恋了；
我失败了，切切底底地失败。

错的不在你，
所有的一切一切都是我自己拿来辛苦的~
是我犯贱，全都是我自己拿来烦的！！
是我的错！你不用向我道歉！！
是我太执著，太倔强！！

Topic 127

2010-09-03T01:06:00.000-07:00

对不起，我必须对你再说很多篇：“对不起”
我真的没想到你会来读我的部落格。。。
让你看见我脆弱的一面，
我必须承认我星期日对你说，
我以对你死心，没感觉，
是骗你的。。。对不起！
因为我真的接受不到你的逃避，
也接受不到我自己一次又一次带给你的“烦”。
也许我真的累了，我哭累了~
我也承认为你，我哭了很多次。。。对不起！
我更必须承认我每天都在想你。。。对不起！

30/8，星期一，
我承认，
当全家人回家乡时，我更新我的部落格时候，
我写几久，我就泪流急久。。。
下午，我拿起电话，我找到你的名字，
我想打给你，可是我知道你不会接，
也不会理。。。我的泪流了，
我立刻打给我的朋友，
他只说了一声：“哈罗，”
我什么都没说，
我只是一直发出我的哭声，
对不起，我又在为你哭了。
我在电话哭了两个小时才收声。
对不起，伟杰，我浪费了你两个小时。。。
去听我说我很不因该说的话。。。
我累得睡不着。。。

31/8，星期二，
我原本打算早点睡，过后早上温习CT，
我在床上挣扎了整晚，3点才入睡，
早上太阳还没出，我又醒了。。。
入眠不到4小时。。。
去PJ，交东西给大佬，谁知，给他拖到我去你家哪儿，
我感觉到你为了避开我，你在车那儿，绕了个圈。
我承认，
我想你，想到不知道今天是自己的生日，
我知道你是懂的，
我在等待，你对我说声祝福。。。
结果，你连说“谢谢”都只是侧面对我。。
我真地接受不到，我想了很多可能性，
-也许你对着我尴尬，不想说话
-也许你不想对我好，是怕我会更喜欢你
-也许你对我很厌倦，看到我都讨厌
-也许你害羞
-也许你压力过大
-也许你读书读到忘了
也许。。。
我找了很多对你好的借口，
可是我真的骗不到我自己。
我去到jaya one泊车，我没下车，
我只是一直在哭，我心想：
“你要我死心都不是用这个方法吧，你不觉得残忍吗？”
我哭了一下，我也被劝振作，
等考完再说，
我死忍，我不去想！！
到考完试，回家路程，
我又大哭了2个小时。。。
我没料到，在每个人认为的18岁生日，
我哭得那样心痛。。。
我被骂了一大顿，可是还没醒过来，
我继续傻下去，
我照计划进行，我买了你爱喝的糖水，
打算送给你。。。
我也照计划进行，
晚上睡到凌晨出去读书，
可是我真的睡不着，
我相信你不会将残忍对我，
我相信你会为我送上祝福，
我对你承认，我不在意你的祝福，
我只在意你，还会不会关心一下我。。。
今晚祝福特别多，可是我等来等去，
都等不到我最想收到的那个~~
结果我就醒睡了整晚。。。
直到我半夜去麦当劳读书，
也只不过读皮毛，因为我真的专心不到。。。
我没睡过，直到我等朋友时，
在车睡了不到十分钟。。。
去学校，我很紧张，
可是不是为了考试，
是我很期待送你东西的时刻，
我都没心了，我只是在背formula，
希望我能够记回我之前说读的一切。。。
考试，我做到了，我会做，我也觉得难不倒我。。。
写完后，我心跳快得不能控制，
因为我计划最关键的时刻来了。。。
考官说：“you may go now...”
我第一个飞出去，跑去食堂，
拿了那包东西，飞去你家等。。。
那些路人纷纷看着我，
因为我做到整个贼那样，
避免被大佬他们看见。。。
我的天啊！
我承认，我见你这样多次，
这次最最最西北够力无敌紧张。。。
紧张到我也不知我自己说什么。。。
：“xxxxxxx啊，这个给你的，对不起~~!”
说话打结，动作愚蠢，思想Ngong koi，
我觉得那是人生最愚蠢的一次。。。
你还是那样的害羞和尴尬
：“蛤？哦。。”
不过，我真的真得很开心，
因为你没拒绝，你一句都没拒绝。。。
在那之前，我真得很怕你不接受。。。
对不起！
我对你承认我还在乎你。。。
当我回去拿车时，
真得很倒霉！！
我遇到大佬，上了他的车，他死拚命问我，
“你来这里干嘛？”
我就换话题。。。
我对你再承认，那天下午，
我整个人松了，
我睡得很熟，在我这两个星期来睡到最舒服的一次。。。
我也答应了我的朋友说，
“这是我对他做最后一次的傻事，我不会再想，
直到大考完后。。。”

3/9，星期五，
BIO!! 我只用了3小时阅读，
因为我开心得睡过龙。。。
TT
我真的打算给你时间，
不找你了。。。
我也需要给自己休息了。。XD
可是这次却，
咳~~天意弄人。。。
我迟早给天玩死，
想见的时候，不给我见，
忍着不见的时候，又给我见。。。
咳。。。
说实话，我考完那两科试后，
我觉得我压力轻了很多，
我思想角度开始会站在你的立场想，
我觉得，无论我有机辛苦，
我也因该给你时间，
我不会再烦你，
我也会逃避你。。。
也许我会很辛苦，可是至少你会感觉比较自然。。
也许我不在你视线内，你会比较开心。
也许，在你心里，我以变得很“烦”，
带给你的只是不安。。。
你上网，我不会再找你，我忍，
我会咬着我的手指，当我想按拨通按钮时。。。
可是我唯一办不到的是，停此想你。。。
对不起~~
你最近经常打喷嚏吗？

4/9，星期六，
我今天真的不是有心要找你的，
我只是想和大佬吃午餐而已，
我希望你不要认为，
我是为了看你而跟随大佬，
我绝对没这样想。。。

我承认，我会很想找你。。。
我怕有一天我压抑不到我的感觉，
去找你。。。
希望你不要想之前那样好吗？

我已经向你坦白承认我对你的所有事。。。
我希望，你能
原谅我~~
好吗？？
你可以接受我当回你的朋友吗？
我能够答应你
我不会再次
让我自己
喜欢上
你。

Topic 126

2010-08-29T18:07:00.000-07:00

22/8。。。这一天，并不是我更新部落格的日期，
而是，我选着了和我喜欢了两个月不到的人告白，
虽然只有一个月半，可是我的感觉就已经来得很深奥了~

在16/8，星期一，测验完后，你真个人很失落，
我真得很担心，当我和朋友一到吃东西的地方，
还没坐下，我就信息你，因为我真的担心你会饿倒。。

第二天，课完后，我真得很想回家，因为真的很累了，
你的一句话，我真得什么都不理了~~去就去~~sunway
因为今天你真的说很少话，弄得我一直在上课时想，
我因该如何弄回你笑呢。。。我真的想不到，
到达了sunway后，在等待别人当中，
你有一个站在角落，静静的。。。
我承认，我不会哄你，可是至少那时，
你说回话了，你的心情也好像好了~
之后整天你就笑回了~~
XD

星期三，还是和你玩到很开心，可是祸从口出。
对不起，都怪我们彼此不够了解对方，
我，总是这样玩弄别人~~
你，总是那么的在乎别人对你的看法~~
其实我很想告诉你，那个是我喜欢人得到的优势。。。
那句话后，你就，很少和我说话了~~
我在面子书以写了：“我只在乎你的感受。。”
可能因为这句，你就没理我了~~

星期四，你对我真的是冷淡过去~~

星期五，presentation的时候，一到我了，
你就走了~~那时我连说话的心情都没了，
presentation也变差了~~
你对我说你的原因是赶巴士。。。
可是这两天的感觉就是你在避开我。。

22/8，星期日，我豁出去啦！！
我对你说了，我喜欢你~~
我真得没勇气在你面前讲，
可是我选着了写再面子书。。。
我只希望两件事，
1。不要告诉别人
2。不要避开我
可是，你两样都做了。。。

23/8，星期一，意料之内，
你对我冷淡，你避开我，
第二堂课，mechanics，派测验纸，
拿了过后，你就两个小时没回来，
我很担心你看了你的分数会不开心，
我就信息你了，你没回我，正常。
课完了，我打给你，你挂了我的一通电话~~
你跑回来，眼神一看到我，就立刻拉走了~~
这次，你也没和我们一起休息。。。
你好象消失了~~
快快吃完后，我傻到，
去B1每一间课室找，找不到
去B2每一间课室再找，找不到
去2楼，每一个LAB, computer lab, chem lab, mechanic lab统统找完。。。
都找不到你。。。
电梯一到三楼，通过一个很长的走廊，
天啊~！我终于找到了~~
当我要向前时，突然有一股力量拉我走，
我狼狈的跑去下地楼的电梯，
死拚命按，进电梯后，我就再死拚命按关门扭。。。
很不辛的，给人挡着了，那个就是你和你的朋友。。。
那次是我们第一次的近距离眼神对望。。
直到第三堂课，你只是用你的侧身和背后对着我。。。
那种感觉不好受，我真得很伤心，我什么心情都没了。
到晚上我真得再忍受不到了，
我信息你，我打给你，不知多少通，
你接了。。。那些对话我想要忘记都很难~~
我在那通电话哭了。。。

我说：“不要这样对我，好吗？”

你第二次狠心的挂了我那通电话，
我再死拚命打。。。你朋友接了。。。
说了一番我最最最心痛的话，

朋友：“你有什么事我帮你说啦~他很怕你耶~”

--o::>.<::

怕我？？我傻了，我有这样恐怖吗？
爱你都被认为可怕，
对你好，哄你开心的，你统统都忘了，
我心痛到不知哪里去~~
我整个人傻了。。。
不过你最终都有听我的电话，
说完了，我的最后一句
：“对不起，我也不知要讲什么了~~”
这次是我挂了你的电话。。。
挂后，我只是会哭~~
也收到了一封有史以来我看和读最多次的

我接受不了你所讲的话。。。我需要时间。。。对不起

这句话，我看了整晚，也哭了整晚。。。我停不到我的眼泪。。。

星期二，我的态度明显比以前低落，说话也少了~~
今天你也只上了一堂课，
那是最后一堂，
完后，你在门口等朋友，
当我已走出去，你就去到很远，
我站在原地很久，在想要不要向你那儿走过去呢~~！
当我望你时，我看见，我真地看见，你也有望我。。。
我鼓起勇气再走向你，
你一看到我，你就走回去我刚才站着的位子。。。
我也累了，我走了，
那天我驾车，是最危险的。。。
我冲去第一行，又吃回来第三行。。。
我再也忍不到了~~我哭了两个小时。。。
不是逼不得以我是不会和文俊和晓华说的，
因为我真的忍不到了~~
文俊告诉我，要放下，第一样是删除所有的信息和照片，
文俊阿~~谈何容易？？
原本我停了我的泪，
当他抢到我的电话是，
我立刻狂哭：“不要delete...please。。。不要~~！！”
我真得还没放得下。。。我哭不停
回家，洗澡，回房，我就躺在床上，又哭了~~

星期三， alvin 说了一句话，
我在学校，眼泪就掉了~~
他说：“慧婷连人都看不到啦，你还要他删除这些回忆咩？？”
今天我终于有机会和你说话，

我：“wei, 不要这样对我好吗？”
你：“蛤？” *微笑
我：“你不要这样好吗？”
你：“蛤？”*微笑
我：“你可以当什么都没发生过吗？”
你：“噢~~”
我：“可以当回朋友吗？”
你：“嗯~~没有事啦~~”
我：“你可以望着我回答吗？”
你：“蛤？”
我：“你说哒，当没事的啦~~”
你：“嗯~~”

我傻到不知要问什么了~~

一直坐你对面，望着你，可是你依然用你背后和侧身对着我，

我：“今天你又去康乐阿？
你：“应该咯~~”
我：“你用你自己的时间表是不是？”
你：“是~~”
我：“eh, 戴con可以哭吗？”
你：“可以啊~~”

咳，我都问到闷了~~我只是想和你讲话，
如今变得那么辛苦了~~
你在东，我去东，
我去东，不又走来西，
我去西，你又去北。。。
我知道你需要时间，可是我等不及了~~！！

到了晚上，去CC的时候，我又对你说了很多废话，
你依然用侧身回答我。。。
他们说得对，你的确很害羞~~
害羞到我都怕了~~
我特地去买了一些东西给你吃，
我果然不够了解你，
你有皮肤敏感我也不知道~~
买一些你不能吃的东西。。。
笨~~
笨到想拿给你吃都不敢。。。

你走之前，都不对我说。。。
那就算了，那时我最后一次见你。。。
到现在。。。

现在有一首歌的歌词真的很很很很够力适合我

我寂寞寂寞就好这时候谁都别来安慰拥抱
就让我一个人去痛到受不了想到快疯掉
死不了就还好
我寂寞寂寞就好你真的不用来我回忆里微笑
我就不相信我会笨到去忘不了赖着不放掉
人本来就寂寞的借来的都该还掉

黄色是最适合用来形容我，红色是我加下去的~~
因为我觉得，加了，更适合给我用。。。

Final exam 要来了，我五天都没心情读书了
时间都花来想你，和想办法挽救~~
大家在拼命读书，我却写落格和想办法让你接受回我。。。
可是我没后悔和你说，只是在错的时候告诉你。。。
我也在想，我为你泪流五天，可是你却不会在乎~~

讲到好像分手那样，其实根本没开始过~~sienz...

Topic 125

2010-08-17T23:46:00.001-07:00

It almost come to the final~~
I've been suffering for 12 weeks...
And i realised that time fly so fast...
I've been with this guys for 12 weeks,

TZ10

I like this group so much,
we was just so co-operate, and crapped..
we did things together,
and we compete for reports, assignments, and test altogether...
We sleep together at lecture class,
We pray together at the PD's roof top, when we was too stress on study...

Times flies...
We all now was just like a spring that extend until the maximum,
and i cant imagine what will be in the degree while i think this foundation is hard...
I not dare to imagine....It was just so troublesome...
Since, Mr. chu also stated that E & E is considered hard degree course...
So, I wont give up...
I will only wait for the doomsday,
I really believe this day will come true not because of the movie,
is with my pro analysing skill...XD

For this week 11 and 12 we've been suffering for test,
wednesday test for mechanics,
saturday test for chemistry,
monday test for math,
I gonna be mad soon,
I DONT WANT TO GET A SATISFIED RESULT!!
I WANT TO GET A BETTER OR BEST RESULT!!
Although i know that wont come true...

Now the weakest sub for me was mechanics,
but I wont stop loving it...
I really do love this sub even I got a sucks marks...

I wish to teach you,
because I really hope you can pass all ur sub and further to sem 2 ♥,
3 months to be with you is totally not enough...
I will cheer you up,
I will try to make you relax,
I will try to make you laugh...♥
Although I felt stress to the max, I promise I will do this to you.
Because I comfirm that
I love you ♥
For those who reading this, if you know who I'm mentioning,
I wont care, seriously,
and I wont give a damn on whatever u wan to do...
because I only care YOU~
You told me that "想到就做"...
There's one thing I really hope to do was just tell you that
I love you, but i just dont dare...
I have no courage to do so...T.T
I hope you dont keep me far away if you read this...
I promise I wont do something that will make you feel uncomfortable...

I really hope to sing the song
" I wanted YOU"
for you to listen...

I wanted you to be there when i fall,
I wanted you to see me throught it all,
I wanted you to be the one i loved,
I wanted you, I wanted you...
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep,
I wanted you show me what i need,
I wanted you to know just how down deep,
I wanted you, I wanted you...

This song is from Ina--I wanted you...
Free to listen it,
it seriously sound so nice...XD
♥ I Love You ♥

Topic 124

2010-07-29T08:37:00.000-07:00

Week 9~~

I will remember this week!!

It seriously made me suffered lots...

Tuesday -- due date of Mechanics report
Wednesday -- test 2 for biology

Friday -- submission of 4 assignments!!!

Sat and Sun -- work...

WTF!!

HOW AM I GONNA SURVIVE AT THURSDAY ?? 4 assignments to rush!!

I'm a daoist immortal if i can successfully finish all this things...

I'm just so freaking exhausted,

monday i gonna rush for mechanics reports,

Tuesday and wednesday i gonna study 2 chapters of bio,

and so unfortunately, i couldn't wake up at the morning to revise,

Opps! should use the word "learn"...because i know nothing!!

Tuesday's night i do try to concentrate on bio,

but i just couldnt do it, i was just like too miss someone,

and first time i ever think a ppl like this,

seriously, couldnt stop thinking...

i tried so many times to focus by knocking my head...

Failed for finally...

On the other days break time,

Wu tie mei mei was so kind,

she taught me everything,

although i knew she was also revising when she taught me,

and the what so called "roughly teach me" by her is just so useful to me,

because.....i only can focus.....of......

Test time, i do did it well, like last time, but the marks made me felt that history will reoccurred.

after that, we have a dinner at murni,

second time i ate there, and i just can kept on thought back the past time,

i yam cha with cozzia's staff,

was so happy and miss the drinks "i love u"

and listen to something that maybe you said it accidentally,

and led me felt in a bad mood,

i can sei fo for 2 times at that time,

how worse...i really miss you...

My mind just cant stop thinking of you...

When we just seperated, i wish to call you at once...

but i know that will be too vex for you...

And reach home safetyat 10pm...watch movie until 12.30am....

And realised that Thursday lecture's class all people was in a tiring faces...

And i stay back for assignment again...T.T

and now i finally completed my assignment 1 for CT...

YEEHAA~~~!!

Last bio and assignment 2...:S

Hopefully next week will be better for me...
Presentation....TT

Everytime you laugh at me...i'm happy...XD

Topic 123

2010-07-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

What's a nice topic! 123!

However, i already disappear for almost 1 and a half months,

but seriously, i have no time,

always assignment, reports, tutorials, test,

i will die soon....

Utar is not a good choice actually,

it's foundation in science is fucking difficult!!

But no choice, i got whatever to survive at studies,

the only one important effort more is myself,

i should score a better marks to get a good result,

i must work on it,

the pressure i suffer is not that light,

i got a car for transportation,
the fees was gave by my siblings who have not enough $$ for self use even,
and what so ever, even how tired am i,
i still need to help for those household....

Because if i didnt do those job = i cant go out relax for some times....

I will be banned for outing...

But i just too tired to carry out those job...who knows...

Every family's member are suffering, i'm the smallest,

that's y i should do something at least dont gave too much ma fan to them right?

It's seriously, my life getting tougher and tougher...

I hope i can work on some job to get some pocket money,

at least i can buy something that is needed...

but i just have no time...

Everyday just same to me,

wake up in morning,

go school,

study,

back home,

facebook a while,

assignment,

sleep for 1-2hours,

1 hours tv programme,

anything else?

u know what....my time pass so fast,

now everyday i also lack of spirit,

i can get such a sohai marks for math!!

How noob!!

All those subject was just too hard for me, i need some times,

but the times is just pulling me quickly,

i haven get know of chapter 3 it already in chapter 4...TT
Studies made me suffer much...
Pressure, tiredness, so wish i could cry out at this moment,
because i'm not only suffering for study,
but still about my brother,

First time i felt so scare and worried when i see him that he was lying at the car with mask,
and waiting for dad and me...
i'm hurt seriously...
My heartache...who knows...i'm crying... who knows?
I just controlled myself not to cry that time...
I cant imagine it will influence me so much...

And another case, was so awesome and contradictory,
i felt emptiness, so i try to make myself fall love to someone,
by kacau-ing or bullying,
and now, seriously,
i love the person, and i cant stop sms-ing,
i so hope i could get a long text from u,
but everytime it just a one or two sentences...
oh my goodness,
i felt so stress with this kind of relation,
even me myself also cant accept it, how can others accept?
i really hope i have a chance,
but i just not dare...
i scare...i really scare...
What can i do now...
I'm just doing something so obvious,
and hence i just doing the same things to another person,
to produce some misleading to others...
but it was just too obvious to me....
Oh my god,
who else can teach me what to do in this mean time,
i'm regret to make myself fall love to u..
if i can be concentrate only on my studies and not others,
i believe i wont love u...
And now i regret, really regret...
I dont know what to do now, tell you that i love u?
or else tell u that i'm just joking?
i really hope u can see this text and at least give me some hints,
i'm tiring of guessing...
Everytime I also think that, what will happen if i tell u the truth...
if i didnt tell anything, i comfirm everything will go on smoothly,
but if i tell, i comfirm there will only occur two route,
1- u accept me, 2- u kept away from me...
Either our relation getting closer or further...
there will always no a third road..
Since we just knew each other, i hope i can maintain this relation for at least a while...
This was just like a gambling game...
Either i win or lose...
Although I know I'm a failure in love...
I really desire that u love me too...seriously...TT

I'm tired, seriously tired...
I so fed up with my recent life...
Although everytime u will see the same hui ting,
who always joke, play fun, sing sang to make others happy,
yes, i really do...everytime before test,
i do make some soh*i things to make everybody laugh at,
i dont care what u laugh at me,
laugh me because i noob, laugh me because i s*hai,
i dont care, at least u all laughed,
and so u all could release ur stress, as well as me myself...

Well, i'm sooooo tired right now...bio test is coming again,
i hope i still can survive...
And i believed i can be tough in front of everybody!
I wan to lie the whole world with my smiling face!!!

Topic 122

2010-06-20T07:08:00.000-07:00

Already fourth weeks at uni,
getting closer with my groupmates.
Unfortunately,
i felt sick for the week 2 & 3 and coming together with 4,
What the...
week 2 sore throat + flu
week 3 no energy + lazy body
week 4...kept on coughing counghing...
Lungs also gave me cough out ady...
Suffered...
Since last friday,
my dad allowed me to drive school,
hooray!!
But i knew he and mom were sooo worried about me,
kept reminding me what to do when driving,
becareful that and this...
First day driving quite fun,
but i dunno after that la...
Fetched that sei fei lou,
than drive at the early morning when the
sun haven rise...
When the time break went for Jaya one and have breakfast at
Old Town...
Searched for badminton court...
And realised my side parking was suckss...
When the time back home,
wish to watch talent time,
but the Time was not allowed me to do so,
then drove home alone,
First time drive long distance alone,
felt nice...
no ppl kacau,
can diam diam listen music and concentrate on driving...
XD
Actually, i really likes to drive,
just because the first time accident stopped my improvement...
Well,
tomolo still gonna get up earlier for schooling,
and need to rest more to able me drive safety...XD
NiteZZ ppl...XD

Topic 121

2010-06-15T02:25:00.000-07:00

Last friday,

it was 11/6 if not mistaken....
woke earlier to do my chores like before,
rush to school for the sucksss practical class for 1 hour something,
drove there and back...
And of coz my dad was beside me like always,
i used to hate that....
But no choice,
he seem like want to practise me until
PROFESSIONAL
only give me drive out alone...

Fine!!
Something happened next and led me think that,
I WONT DRIVE ANYMORE!!
IF CAN U JUST ALWAYS BE MY DRIVER...
OK???
BUT DONT BLAME AT ME!!!
I JUST WANT U TO BE THERE WHEN I WANNA GET HOME!!
IF U THINK THAT WAS CONVENIENT FOR U!

Reached home and went to popular to buy some file
to keep all my new notes...
NEXT!!
KAKI CORNER...
come on baby, that's what the most excited programme for the day...
Let's look through some pictures instead of words
ok?

You have no choice, you must take a look...XD
The whole family photo of coz put at last la...
It's seriously happy when i can had conversation and
played with them...
I'm so happy that night...
But unfortunately,
i felt sick and backed earlier...
The fucking sore throat and flu made me felt
uncomfortable for the whole week...
By the time, my fren said that we went kaki corner was
exactly 3 months before...
which was the time when we got the result...
If not mistaken that was 11/3...
Exactly..XDD

Maybe I was still new at Uni,
I felt those new frens still unable to communicate wif them
with the original me...
Sometimes i just hope and get in in their conversation...
I tried to...
but not as the same for secondary,
just played with them whatever i want and they will
co-operate....and siok together...
I miss those time...
Seriously~~
Maybe...maybe there will be 1 day i like my uni's life...
who knows???
It was still an unknown situation...

Suddenly a flashback led me thought back my beloved you...
already 6 months i didnt talk with, meet and see you...
I think without you, my days seemed to be so long...
looked to your trip's photo,
I even miss you more,
I don't know how much or how many,
it cant measure with any equipment,
I just know I very miss you...
I don't know why, I really hope in this second you will be my side,
and hug me....
I miss you....♥
It's the song made me even miss you....
And the unhappy situation...
T.T

Topic 120

2010-05-31T07:10:00.000-07:00

Started my university's life officially...
And finally....
That was the second time i went to school,
but this time not for orientation,
was schooling...
That was what the word "FINALLY" came...
Didn't touch the books and pens for 6 months,
most important, my baby calculator...
I forgot it in the first day...
T.T
Well, because my beloved phone was still at hospital,
so i failed to capture some photo...

Let's me to tell you how sucks for the first day,
I lost my spirit, I was so sleepy,
I already made my habit to sleep at 1-2am,
and woke up at 12-1pm...
But now!
I wanted to sleep before 11 and wake up at 5.30am!!!
What a Joke?
Fine,
reach there within 20 mins.
it was such a big difference between today and orientation.
Straight away got to the class and started
my first lecture class
Physical Chemistry...
Sounds high class right?
But it was the same as Chemistry that i studied before.
Same...I hate Chemistry...
But i could do it well...
Nothing difference...
I meant for the first chapter,
of cause it will be deeper inside...

Break for 1 hour,
but i think that was not enough at all...

Another lecture class...
Mechanics...
I think this was same as physic...
my strongest science subject...
But the lecturer was SUCKSSS!!!
I sat at the most behind...
And i found out he knew nothing...
T.T
Stuck-ed there for 2 hours,
Did nothing..
Times just like turtle crawling..

Break for another hour,
ate nothing...
Half hour tutorial for Biology...
And now that was the time to back home!!
Took bus....
.....15 mins.....
Putra
.....45mins.....
LRT
....30-40mins....
WTF!!!
PLUS TOGETHER ALREADY WASTE LOTS OF TIMES!!
Still face for sucks raining weather!!!
Surfer!!
Hungry!!
Oh my goodness...
Quickly rushed to makan at leisure mall...
Backed home,
showered,
took a rest,
and
SLEEP of cause!!!
If not still wait for wat o...XD
Almost 2 hours my nap go on...
That was so exaggerate that my whole body
couldn't get up when the time I was awake...
Dinner,
rest...
going for another day...

Topic 119

2010-05-28T07:58:00.000-07:00

Wednesday,
went for KLCC to accompany chin yee asking
something about the british council...
After that walked to PAVILION
to buy the ticket movie...
after soooooooooo long time we decided...
The movie we chose to watch was...

WOOHOO~~!!
Second time watched those movie in cinema...
The mood was so terrible...
What i scare is not the ppl's face ot the way they dead...
The most i sacre was the
"BANG!!!"
Sudden sound...
Before the movie started...
Yee gonna to attend her last english class at KLCC...
So we walked there again.
..........
wait for a minutes.
class cancelled!!
WTF...
So pity the little yee...
Kesian-nyaaa~~

Then walked to PAVILION again!!!
WTF!!
Kept walked here and there...
Kakii sudah patah half..
T.T

Go for movie..
Mashed potato
was OUT OF STOCK again!!
For the whole movie time...
i was just
SOK MAI YAT KAO
"kept myself in one piece"
And kept beware of the sudden
"BANG"
sound...
XD
But conclusion for the movie..
Not very scary...
it was just becoz of the sound effect..
XD

Thursday...
Rushing to finish my chores and
fly to time square's neway sing k...
By then i realised,
i'm the one who kept on holding the mic sing and sing and sing...
XD
No choice..
That was my style...

Friday...
Went to have a haircut today...
Most of the red hair gone...
left few at the front onli...TT
Gonna start a uni's life...
so need to be guai guai lui...XD

Topic 118

2010-05-24T08:12:00.000-07:00

My University's life started unofficially...
Today was the first day of UTAR's orientation,
and those activities would held on at 8.30am...
For my experience, i knew that there will be a traffic jam...
So ma wake up at 6.00am...
And it was considered early for me...
Just same, always also will have ppl be late,
beh ta han~~
Well, started our journey at 7.00am...

WTF!!!
STUCK AT THE TOLL FOR 45 MINUTES!!!!
IS THAT OVER EXXAGERATE??!?!?
Took 1.30 to reach there...

STILL NEED TO LINE UP!!
And what i got was just a number. 636...
Wait for another 635 ppls to get their goodies...

What we did was just got it and went to old town
have our breakfast...because everything came in a rush...
No time to enjoy my bread...
Quite lucky,
because when the police wanted to "saman" my fren's car,
we were able to back there and stopped the police to do it...
XD
"han fan nm siu"...XDD

Soon we're not willing to listen the talk...
so all of us agreed to go mid valley,
shopped and watched movie there...
Enjoyed~~
The movie named "Once a Gangster"
if i'm not mistaken...
WALAO EH!!!
THIS MOVIE WAS SOOOOOOO FREAKING SUCKSS!!
It was toooooo "impossible" ??
I dont know how to explain ya..
just dont watch it ok le...XD
Additional...first time watch normal movie at mid valley...
the sofa seat was quite nice, comfortable
and the air conditional there was so DAMN COOL!!

By today, i should also try to understand others...
no everyone like the games i like,
just like pooling and bowling...
sorry for kept on calling u all to go...

Straight away back home,
walked from connaught to leisuremall,
so damn exhausted and hot!!!
Due to the sunlight of coz,
and also a dark black polo-T i wore...XD

Erm, yesterday took my beloved phone to repair,
and also be lent a second hand phone,
but the phone faced a small accident,
and have a quite big problem now...
Made me so moodly,
temporary no phone use...
I'm trying to be a temporary technician for the nokia phone...XDD
So, people,
pls forgive if i didnt reply ur msg or receive ur call...

Actually i'm trying to put some photos instead of words,
but because of my beloved phone's problem....
i couldn't get any of the photo and upload it...
so just looked at my words and imagine urself la...XDD
Gonna sleep early today, so tired...XD

Topic 117

2010-05-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

Recently no work, no studies, no money, less outing...
Felt like so boring...
Check up on fb,
realise lots of things have change within the period when i'm working,
felt that i'm losing....nope
should say in another way,
i have lost the quite important things.
Friendship.
I wish to have more frens,
yet i dont want to lose someone who actually very close to me be4,
which meant my close fren...
Sometimes, they post those status,
about wat they so unsatisfy,
but though,
i didnt know wat had happened to them,
but others did...
What should i say?
I'm speechless...
I felt i'm not so understand my fren sometimes.
I dont know wat they want??
or should said in other way?
The problem of coz is myself,
i didnt blam on others.
i'm just like emo...
When they free, they called me outing,
but though i have to work...
Vice-versa
When i free, i called them outing,
but though they are studying.
Hope that i can quickly start school,
and meet more new frens,
start a new life for me
Low Hui Ting.

Topic 116

2010-05-15T07:53:00.000-07:00

Be good girl recently,

In this week,

i went out onli for 2 days...

XD...

Haiya, u know ge la,

go out sure need $$...

So damn poor recently...
Well, just put it aside,

because i cant stay home too long time...

If not i will commit suicide due to lack of freedom...

Quite lots of things i wish to write today.

Friday 14/5

Woke up in the morning,

made me in the mood of keeping the house,

because sisters were coming back...

So hardworking,

swept the whole house's floor...

And kept all those things nicely...
after 5 hours worked...

Took bath and met Alex at top gear,

since i so rushing that time,

having tea a old town sin....

Later went to visit UCSI main campus...

Is it??

Felt a bit high class la...

The uni also looked so big...

When the time we both walked out of UCSI,

Saw a what so called leng zei,

seriously,

he looks like one of my store fren...XD

but he was a china's ppl...

not my fren la, i meant the so call leng zei...

Played 5 games wif Alex...

still a beginner,

but

3-2

Of cause alex won...XD

Went to station 1 and met up wif

chin yee's group...

To have a farewell for alex...

Since he is going to kampar...

When we reached there,

SUDDENLY!!!

I noticed i can watch THOMAS CUP there!!!

The atmosphere there so good,

everybody scream together when

lee chong wei successfully smashed lin dan...XD

But seriously,

LIN DAN really good,

is just that he very LAN SI!!

Well,

the result already knew before the competition start..

After eating at station 1

Played 4 games at connaught again...

2-2

group wif alex was quite good...

The onli unhappy thing happened was just kept on

forcing back by my siblings...

...WTF...
I really hate that kind of life...

everytime when they back sure gave me a called,

and f**k me when i will be back...

GOOD!!!

WAT KIND OF RESPOND I CAN GAVE??

Just say sorry,

and request to back later!!!

What else can i did???

Everything now!!

And Future!!

Is they give me!!

If not!!

I'M JUST NOTHING!!!

Fine!

hope they r not reading this...

If not i sure kena sut 9 9...

Back to my topic...

Saturday 15/5,

Thought that i will be at home for the whole day long,

Suddenly, receive a call...

And went to neway again...

Already got a bit sore throat ge la~~!!
Sure sang "present" and "bad romance"

Kept SHOUTING!!!
I DONT WANNA BE FREN!!
WANT UR BAD ROMANCE!!!

XDD

Out of my expectation,

adrian back so early...

Still wanna chui sui wif him geh~~

Haiz,

then went to old town and chit chat wif

may teng and pek pek...

Since so long we didnt chat,

and suddenly gave that may teng kek sei,

Kept on ask me some Q i dun wanna to ans geh...

Fine...still answered her at a weird way...

And of coz,
what she asked actually

is wat i'm thinking now and then...

Backed home..

Suddenly felt so
FREAKING HOT!!

And looked at the TV!!

WAH!!

UBER CUP FINAL!!

Korea 2 - 1 china!!

And now is broadcasting second double!!

So wish korea would win!!

but
YES!!!

THEY DID IT!!

THEY WON!!

THEY DESERVED IT!!

CONGRATES!!!

Since china so lc,

i went to support korea,

at that time, seriously,

i watched till very very very

NERVOUS~~

As though malaysia was playing...

Once the match point they beat,

i stopped all my stuff,
and looked at the

MATCH POINT!

"YES!!"

That's wat i said at the first time i shout when watching badminton competition

which was not my country...

Due to this Thomas & Uber Cup...

Suddenly they turn me to the badminton mode...

Good!

Dont let china always think that no one can beat them...

Haiz,

nowadays, waiting for school life is so suffering,

go out = spend $$

stay home = boring

some more, no ppl free to go out wif me since all of them have started

their school life...

Hope that i can meet more frens when i'm at uni~~!

Promised i will be friendly...

Tomorrow gonna go out again,

to meet up wif cozzia's fren...

Felt happy of meeting them sometimes...XD

Topic 115

2010-05-11T22:47:00.000-07:00

Dunno what to write about the tittle....
Let it be simple, ok?
Last friday,
played badminton with
alvin, poh li, tou dei zei and kenny...
Played 3 hours...
wah sei,
so damn active...
i just wanna kept on play,
dont let it stop,
it's been long time i didnt went for a sport...
But the most surprise was...
i didnt fell muscle-ache another day...
Just onli my fucking left knee
made me suffer...
played badminton also need to
"zhao zu zhao zu"
my left knee...

Saturday,
went for yi xuen's birthday party...
For me,
the party was "sucks"...
The atmosphere ther was not that good...
One group here and one group there...
if not sit together also dunno they r coming for the party...
Well,
i'm just a "zot zei" there,
but i did make fun at there,
just like wat i did at school...
I hope everybody was happy wif me...
But i just felt like my joke was getting bored to myself...

Her bf onli wan gave her some surprise...
so, actually yi xuan didnt know we will be there,
then suddenly we sang birthday's song and
brought a cake,
which her bf hand made...
A small surprise?
Just attend the party for a while,
i think is 2 hours something...
then leave there...
Opps!
Forgotten to mention about the venue...
Pavilion's wong kok...
XDD
Looked so high class man!
cant compare wif lm's...
On the way back home,
raining....TT
took teksi back...
Haiz....
dunno want license for wat...

Sunday,
WOOHOO~~!!
Family's day,
+
Mother's day.
went to eat breakfast together,
then went to photograph family's photo...
Rm XXX
flied....
But it was worth to spend it on family of coz...
XDD
nth much to write...
I was not in mood now...
due to the delay...
almost forgot wat had happened before...
TT

Topic 114

2010-05-05T23:27:00.000-07:00

I dont know what i should write on the tittle,

so that is not very important actually....
XD

It's been so long time i didnt meet u with my
Tou Dei Zei...So,
on wednesday morning,
i brought her to connaught school to do something...
gave her a small surprise,
since she always want me to drive...
And i did lie her that i have no car...
And so she finally become my first guest...
XD
Then, we went to gilly cafe to chit chat a while,
since we so long time didnt see each other.
Then we met up wif alvin again,
and we decided to go sing k...
XDD
No Problem la!!
My favourite wo...
XDD
After that,
time passed...
It's already 3.30pm,
I gonna to meet up wif alex to celebrate
kah weng's birthday...
so then I also brought tou dei zei to wait for her bf...

Gave kah weng a small surprise,
let him had a happy day...
What kind of surprise??
He thought we just chit chat there,
but he didnt know that his gf
was also attending this celebration and
gave him the cake wif candles burning up
on his birthday's cake...
XD

Getting tired...
Went to connaught,
have dinner at old town wif standfer and micole,
then went for the fucking long pasar malam...
That was the first time i went for the whole
connaught night market...
Before i always walked half...
but did u noe how long i have been there for
--> and <-- go and back?? ALMOST 2 HOURS le... knee so freaking pain... Dont know what had i did be4... i just felt like my eyes were closing gradually.. backed home and so lazy to take the shower...

Ip Man 2

2010-05-03T03:06:00.000-07:00

Just when to have a movie of the what calling
"Ip Man 2"
with my frens...

First time i stop eating pop corn while
watching movie...

It was so fantastic!!
I just dont know how to express...

Is just like every part of the movie also very very

"nervous"
?.?
Sorry, i'm just practising my english...

so just ignore some error...

XDD

Nothing much here,

just wan to introduce this fantastic movie

which was a
MUST WATCH
MOVIE~~!!
Trust me,

u wont felt waste money on watching this movie...
XDDD

the 2 hours flied even faster than

"aeroplane"
?.?

XDD

The 6th.

2010-05-02T09:11:00.000-07:00

Mid Valley's Exhibition Centre
Mid valley again,
this was the sixth times i join cozzia,
I was like so exhausted not only at both legs,
and the mouth of cause...
Most important was my "mental" felt so
...exhausted and lost...
I can even served my sister at the mid night....
and scold my mother don't disturb me serving customer...
...WTF...
The other day i woke up i only found out what had happened...
MENTALLY EXHAUSTED!!!
I couldn't demo like what i did last time...
I'm just like so fucking lazy...
My mind lazy to think even...
i just like kept smiling but wishing the customer
get lost from me...
I kept on leaded customer in,
but i'm wishing them not to come in...
I wan to rest,
not only my legs...
but my mental,
my brain...
which was so important to me...

...WTF...
Paid for Rm 110 to look for the
Fucking lousy doctor
just like wasting my dad's money,
gave me some mobic and told me some
non-sense...
but what had he really did for my knee?
Made me suffer more difficultly...
"sei deng sei deng"!!
My right knee
couldn't deng my weight so long time ady leh....

Well,
back to my topic,
but i'm just been a professional,
i try to make myself happy and smile
when my mood was actually so freaking down...
but what i did was actually have the "repay"
customers did praise me also...
XDD
felt proud of me sometimes...
but shame of me seldom...
Maybe that was really the last time i work for it,
maybe maybe maybe...
no ones know what future will happen...
Sometimes do felt disappointed of the social problem there,
i just hope that i can write all of my feelings down,
but i know that was impossible,
because
web is worldwide...
everyone also can look at my blog...
and get know of everything...
My mental have no problem,
my EQ is not that low, darling.
Everything i did also have my own reason
.Trust me.

I just couldn't sleep
And felt so extremely exhausted...
I really hope that someone can really be my sincere listener
to let me
speak out all those things that i want to say,
and just let me cry like no one care...
but i wont
i dont want to let ppl look at me crying,
even my dearest...

I dont know which side should i hear...
I really dont know which side is the real...
I started dunno how to category wat is real and fake...

What i can do now to make me fell better is just
Listening to my favourite rock music
BAD ROMANCE
which sound need to open to the MAX!!
and
BLOGGING

I gonna to play psp,
inside it have a game which is like a
HERO
killing all those soldier....
and i choose to express my feeling in this way...

Seriously,
very tired....
kept all the sofas so hurriedly today.

All Is The Same, Just Repeating.

2010-04-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

The past war was starting on 14/4 @
IKANO POWER CENTER
I felt so happy due to the road show was actually
nothing to do at weekdays,
but still,
i felt stress...TT
...WTF...
I just wanna relax sometimes.
I wanna try to sell something.
But i didnt.
not even 1 sen again...
Seriously,
not that easy,
i worked continuously 12days,
Everyday was just the same to me,
8am woke up,
9am went out,
10am reached there,
...start work...
...break...
10pm packed up,
10.15pm leg massage,
10.30 backed home,
11.20pm reached home,
...shower...
...sleep...
WTF.
everyday just continue doing the same things...
Well,
times fly,
everyday i also hope to have a terrible traffic jam
be4 i worked...
and hope not to face the traffic jam when finished work,
Am i selfish?
YA, I KNEW IT.
XD
Just like wat tittle mentioned,

All Is The Same...
same, i didnt do the sales,
same, i'm still always keng kei when working,
same, always got scold from micole,
same, everyday also stand until kaki patah,
same, i didnt contribute to cozzia....

Just Repeating...
sleep
work
fun
sienz

KLCC vs IKANOOh yes,
There was another fair
"LUXURY PROPERTIES"
Cozzia also will be at there,
somemore was a VIP lounge
so cozzia also provided the sofa at there...
of coz was for sale...
XD
I'm ordered to seperate with alex...
TT
forget it,
i just work 1 and the half days there,
and another half day at ikano....
a bit complicated, hard to explain here.
But also the same,
I have no sales eventhough where i go,
but still,
there was another fair for me...
...crying...

The Break

2010-04-15T09:59:00.001-07:00

Actually i'm very very tired after a whole day worked,
but i felt like not willing to sleep at all~~!
i just wan to write something to express out my feelings,
and day dream of coz...
Today work at ikano was just the same to me,
but different from fair,
it was much more relax...
since today was the weekday and so freaking less customer
was there...
So wat happened?
...DEMO...
again??
Of cause yes...
i get scolded many times just now,
not scold actually,
but that kinds of telling led me felt uncomfortable...
Kept my mind relax...
have a break on evening,
with my earphone,
turn on the walkman of my hp
as loud as possible,
maximum...
i walked slowly to the place in front of
E @ Curve
there has a nice view with a mini
waterpool...喷水池
i sat on the staircase beside...
opening my favourite song,
using the water falling sound as a background music...
for half hour i think...
it really helped lots to express my f***ing mood...

i think i'm not suppose to write many here,
coz of
*akhem
and i have no mood to make colour to those word and make it
big or small....just let this post be boring...

so just till here and now i have a sweet dream first...
hope that i saw somebody hugging me at back again...
*i miss u*
Pls dun felt unhappy eventhough u just separate with somebody
i love u

Exhibition

2010-04-05T09:07:00.000-07:00

MID VALLEY'S
Phew,
once again i wrote the past week things,
i'm only one short listed for cozzia road show,
XDD
felt like shock a bit...
that meant i have a good performance and
i wanna be a perfect person...
Since i so hope that i can be a
PERFECT PROMOTER
that's y i gain TONNES of pressure
during the mid valley's exhibition...
I didnt get any sales,
not even one single seater sofa
without massage,
i'm so failure... Is it?
i'm so useless in everything,
i felt so bad during the exhibiton,
esecially last day,
my partner could sold two set of sofa,
which cost almost RM 20,000++
but me? not even 1 sen...
i didnt have any contribution...
employed me was a kind of wastage...
In the afternoon, she already got two sales,
i felt like crying when she signed for the second set of sofa,
Not that i jealous her,
Is that i felt myself was so freaking useless....
i knew i'm not the only one who suffer such a pressure,
i knew everybody was the same,
my boss,
my manager,
my supervisor,
my partner...
But what could i did that time,
i just couldn't get sales...
just forgive my failure...
Let me cry when i was alone...
What i wan was just a
...PERFECT...
Putra World Trade Centre (PWTC)
The second fair i worked for cozzia,
actually i have request not to work there,
since i didnt sell the sofa even that was a fair in mid valley,
but my requested have been rejected,
and been encouraged...
I'd tried my best boss,
I just cant did it until the third day,
eventhough i already rested for 3 days,
but that was not enough for me,
my mind was half dead after the mid valley 1,
I'm a failure ppl...
But let's think together,
who willing to buy a set of sofa which cost
RM 12 K and above with a 17 years old girl,
i'm still a teenager, not even a young adult,
who will believe me???
Just the same,
all the boss was so pressure in the exhibition,
coz the price they spent for the fair was actually quite high,
if couldn't get sales,
they needed to explain to big boss,
somemore they needed to take care of
a small child..."akhem"
that was me...
i'm the youngest there...
*proud*
Maybe saturday i have had a good rest,
On the last day of exhibition
i have a great mood...
WOOHOO~~!!
i already think very clearly,
i dont wan force myself to sell sofa,
i just worked as normal like wat i always did...^^
LUCKILY,
i served a customer who really looking for a good sofa,
and was rich...^^
i just served her a while,
i think almost 15-20 mins,
then my supervisor helped me gao tim everything,
she helped me closing and all those this and that,
but i just felt like i did nothing,
she was the one who made the customer wanted to buy
our product,
and not me,
but they kept on said i get the sales,
i just dunno y,
maybe they wanted me to continue work for cozzia,
since it was very new,
and needs a lots ppl...
And i realised all my boss very sayang me,
i felt that,
seriously,
maybe i still small...
no experience at all...
but i really felt i'm not suppose to get the commission...
rm XXX
XDDD
but i appreciate it,
THANKS~~!
They wan me to admit that i sold a set of sofa,
even i didnt,
but i just act that i admited that i sold a set of sofa...
maybe that will be better...

Hope that i wont feel that kind of pressure again...
it's really a hard feelings...
Very har to tahan that kind of feelings
T.T

The beginning and ending

2010-03-09T07:12:00.001-08:00

Quite busy for the two weeks before...

it was freaking exhausted...
First time i became a promoter...
Promoting a massage sofa...
Gave the brochure,
and wear till quite formal~~
but i like it...
That's was a new me?!?
I dont even know i can promote well,
spoke well...
I really gain many experience there...
got two times...
i worked continuosly 4 days and 3 days respectively...
10am-10pm...
it was not easy...
say is 10am-10pm...
but almost everyday we started work at 9.55am++
and finished worked at 10.30pm++
went there at 9.15 backed home at 11.15pm++
It was DEFINATELY not easy i tell u...
Pity my little supervisor, micole,
worked 13days continuously...
My legs have already broke that time...
SOOOOO FREAKING PAIN!!!!
Due to my pre-experience in ROMP,
Eventhough my legs pain till tak boleh tahan i still
stand straight...
like as though nothing was happening...
And the second reason was
I'm WEARING MY BRO'S BALLY SHOES!!!
Finally, the shoes spoilt second time,
and my supervisor brought me to buy a new one...

Seriously,
i gain many knowledges,
many experience,
know how to tolerate customer,
how to obey...
The last two days of work is quite nervous actually,
i also dunno y...
i quite enjoy when the time we briefing,
even supervisor scold me or praise me...

I felt disappointed to myself,
suddenly i very believe the starscope,
im a virgo,
is a star that which everything must be perfect...
must be the top,
must be the best...
i do everything is always full of confident...
i thought i have the power to sell a set of sofa,
but in the end,
i didnt sell it,
i felt soooooooooo disppointed...
who always think she was the best...
but i can accept it,
and which i can stand up back...
and my confident back so rapidly...
I really want to be PERFECT...
But i knew i cant,
definately CAN'T!!
Becoz of *secret...

I dont want to write too much here,
becoz "somebody" is reading it also...
So, at last,
I'm gonna to THANKS to cozzia's promoter,

Alex--made fun in the whole car journey
Joshua--for the transport
Adam--for the work
And lastly,

My supervisor,
Thank for looked after me, the little child,
for the knowledge u gave,
the technique to speak,
the anticipate u gave me,
but i failed to sell even one seater...
Maybe u felt that this was actually a very small things u did to me,
but i very please of it...

"Can't express's mood"

2010-02-18T02:25:00.000-08:00

Due to my english was so bad,
i dunno how to write the word,
"难以形容的心情"
so,
i just wrote a tittle with the
""
marks...
Anything will have an ending,
just like my jobS,
they have an ending too,
no matter how i hate to work at
ROMP,
but still there has something i like and love,
i chose romp finally,
coz i have promised...
That's y the ogawa shop has fired me,
i'm sad and down,
it is a good chance actually,
it's hard to work as a massage sofa promoter,
i think,
it was so wasted,
i can gain so many precious experience there,
i can earn so much,
and so,
i also can learn to go more places,
But how,
becoz of the promised i did,
I MISSED IT!!
i missed the job!!
i really wan to work as the promoter,
but the time!!
the date!!
i felt sorry to myself,
i lost a learning chance...
due to the promised...
i'm down,
the mood was so hard to express,
it's really hard...
The time will be wasted,
the money will not be earn,
becoz i miss the job..

Dear Manager...
YOU GAVE ME THE CHANCE,
BUT THE FACT WAS,
YOU VANISHED MY CHANCE BACK,
AND GIVE IT TO ANOTHER...

i'm sad...really down...

How about doing nothing??

2010-02-16T19:31:00.000-08:00

There was a few things made me so headache recently,
first,
i'm wondering whether i was been bullied??
i also not very sure,
my siblings said yes,
but sometimes they didnt understand me,
the situation there,
the ppl there,
the attitude there...
RM 40, for me it was already very much,
but becoz of some situation,
and some reason,
and the complicated process,
i wont write here...
She was my third head,
i respect her,
i do admire her,
and do like her attitude too,
but wat i confused was,
i already told her that was mine,
and she gave me an "oh" as her respond
but at last she told me that she
"dunno"
How can i accept it??
i'm not angry about the money actually,
i'm angry the word "dunno"!
she said "oh" but she dunno??
Now, my sis wan me to get back the money from her,
the money was not she owed me actually,
is one sohai and her XX owed me...
i will get the money back from them
once i see them...
but not my ah head...
dun force me pls...
YOU dunno the situation and
what i'm thinking...

Second,
i promised my "big ah head" that
i wan to work on 22 & 23 feb,
but now...
i wish that she dun wan me...
coz the ogawa shop already hired me as the promoter,
and i thought the ogawa shop will start the work on
exactly 25 feb!!
Because of the message about the
details about the working time....
But now,
my fren who introduced me told me start the training on
22nd FEB!!!!
ok, i accept it,
but start work on
23rd FEB!!!!
OH GOSH!!
how can i make my time??
it's hard to me...
i wan to
SHOUT OUT LOUD!!!!
Pls...
i just wan to earn some pocket money~~~
leave me alone...
The ogawa boss said he will fire me
if both day i also not present...
I dun wan to make trouble to my "big ah head"
and i wish to work at the ogawa shop,
i wan to gain experience!!
ROMP! ROMP! ROMP!
i hate it sometimes!!!
but i do love it seldom...

My "P"

2010-02-10T20:39:00.000-08:00

Although i wan to write about my P license,
but do have some place to write about the monday journey...
MONDAY (8/2/10),
the day before worked at ROMP already used up
all my energy,
but still i needed to wake up early in the morning,
for what?
for job of coz...
Ogawa
so needed to interview one by one, and one on one
of coz
face to face...XDD
WALAO EH!
needed to speak english in the whole talked,
u know she was the marketing manager,
once i told her something
she already knew wat my attitude, behavior and anything la,
and also my broken english..XD
well, "small nervous"
becoz the a bit "nervous" can show that
how u respect the interview was...
haiz,
called me to wait for her sms on other day,
and she said if she employ me,
i need to attend a training class in 22nd feb,
oh gosh,
i need to work on that day ah!!
just forget it first,
coz maybe she dun wan me also...
after the interviewed,
rushed back to home for the driving lesson...
It was so
RUSH!!!
drove well,
i think tomorrow test will not have any problems...XD
wish me all the best ba...

TUESDAY (9/2/10),
rush rush rush...
time passed...
wtf!!
wait almost 3.30 hours
then onli is my turn...
PHEW!!
u know i met few pre-schoolmate there,
and,
soooooooo many ppl failed at the mountain there,
more than half!!!
serious!
is that so hard?
took it easy,
"平常心"
my turn...
gear 1, released clutch slowly, pump oil, released all clutch,
drive till the yellow line, touch gear and brake, handbrake...
phew,
"apa no.??"
"44"
"ok, moi, jalan!"
with her voice siok
"ok, tq"
i also dunno y i said tq..XD
then,
pump oil, released clutch and slowly the handbrake..
XDDD
I PASSED!!!
WOOHOO!!
the bad no. 44 didnt influence me!!
and straight away the parking and 3-point turn,
after that on-the-road...
wow,
the ppl kept on talking with me,
"ah moi, laju sikit..."
"oh.."
"ah moi, kamu nak jadi tomboy ke??"
"har??"
"tengok gambar kamu, macam lelaki la..."
"O.."
"kamu jadi tomboy ke??"
"....."
"hah, nak jadi tomboy ke??"
"har..."
i didnt peduli him,
DIU!!
NON UR BUSINESS OK??
u just guild me can jor la,
cakap banyak banyak...
wow, i think i drove well,
no mati enjin langsung,
and of coz i passed it...XDD
but realy very tired lo,
wait so long, and so hot,
go there 8.30 reached home 4.00...
wan died jor...
the most surprise,
i got my "P" soon on the other day...
WOW!!!
SO FAST!!!
that was how the word "finally" came...
every lesson was over!!

I'm back

2010-02-08T01:19:00.000-08:00

Phew!!
It's really been such a long time i didnt write the blog,
i still remembered...
still remember i have a blog,
but im too busy and lazy to write every little things about my life,
every little things plus together,
slowly it sure become many,
just like the malay idiom
"sikit sikit lama lama jadi bukit"...
it's already been a long time,
and i have passed through so many little things
within this few weeks,
i knew some part of the society,
i knew something about the 人心,
and now i also knew how to drive...
i did meet my old frens too...
but how??
u wan me to write every little things??
it's vex right??
so everyday my mood was just like this...
i will just write something interesting here...
WORK
this year i work at romp was not like before,
it was much more difficult than last year,
im not working at store now and then,
but im working as those ppl keep the shirt at the shop...
OH GOSH!!
THAT'S NOT EASY!!
because the shop was ROMP!!
Do u know how many ppl like to buy those shirt??
The spot light there was so strong,
the aircond there was so extremely "cold",
The shop there was so crowded,
the shirt there was so many ppl wearing,
even to give the payment or try the product there
also need to queue until the shop's outside...
so WHAT??
still many pplSSSSSS willing to come in and try!!!
The most SUCKSSS was the SALES WORKER there,
u know wat??
they knew the shirt has no insentive and they dun wan to
take it to the customer!!
WAT A RESPONSIBLE PPL WAS THAT?!?!?
the stock is run out,
they didnt inform the customer too,
they just continue to serve those ppl who wan to buy jeans,
and just ignored the customer who wan to buy a insentive-less shirt....
and finally do u know who get the shirt to them??
THAT WAS ME!!!
who work as shirt keeper!!!
RM 70 per day + NO commision and insentive!!!!
Excuse me!!!
that was not my job!!!!
but wat can i do??
even my "ah head" also called me to serve them!!!
WHAT THE TUT!!!
i cant scold them, i cant do anything,
i thought if i can do my job well already very good,
but now!!
I was beyond that!!!
I serve customer even!!
not that easy u know...
how can i ignore the customer and do my own things?
oh, im sorry,
i wont do that,
i wont ignore ppl,
the ppl who was waiting there was so charm...
It's worth to employ me!!
not joke, seriously,
i kept the shirt back to its place well,
i served customer,
i obeyed to my "ah head"
i took those stock at store for customer,
i do everything!!!
RM 70 ????
U DECEIVE IT U KNOW, BOSS!??!?!
it's really not fair,
some of them can listen music and chat at the store,
even relaxing!!!
and how about me???
working so hardly!!
WHO KNOW!?!?!?
FOR WHAT??!!?
I'M JUST ONLY A PART TIME WORKER??!!!
do u know because of the word
"responsibility"
Even myself also dont know y...
Well,
i cant stop saying bad about that,
i wont stop once my fire was lighted up...
I stop here,
there still 4 days to stuck at there!!
i will endure it...
Oh yea,
forgot one thing to mention,
the weekend before CNY,
i met few ppls that is beyond my expectation,
first,
ah wah,
walao, almost one year didnt meet each other de leh,
second,
iven, eric, and one perfect,
third,
wan chean's fans,
wow, i dont know that they still remember me,
fourth,
that's the most out of my expectation!!
chiu yee,
wasai!!! this one really very very long time de fren lo,
she called me automatic-ly,
In fact, there still many ppl remember me...
XDDD

Low's family new member.

2010-01-14T00:43:00.000-08:00

YA!!

Let's welcome low's family new member!!!
WTK 8728!!
Proton Saga~~~
Dang Dang Dang Dang!!!
Haven make it a new name and new sex,
*discussing...
i'd be the second driver of this new car....
XDD

Genting Trip

2009-12-21T21:59:00.000-08:00

i dunno how to say about this trip,
it just like not so funny,
but not really not funny at all,
alalah, i also dunno wat i wan to said,
biarkanlah,
becoz there was too many things happen so surprisingly,
and i have looked clearly to somebody la,
i dun wan to mention the name here,
and i tried not to write bad things here...
well, this lesson tought me not to stay at awana anymore,
coz at the apartment go to genting was sooooooo troublesome...
actually i also dunno how to write about the details of this trip,
just ignored some la,
got happy de,
got sad de,
dun ask me sad things happen more or happy things happen more,
it just like asking wat's the length between the sky and ground...
dun compare them together...
actually not much to write about it,
just not really enjoy,
when the time we played at the pirate ship,
suppose that we would very happy,
but suddenly i have turn to moodless,
becoz of the co-operation,
we cant sot and crazy together,
not same as the time i went with 3H frenz....
they really fun...
well,
back to the sucking trip,
i really dunno wat else can write,
coz the case happened already made me felt so down,
and no mood to think back and others la,
if i think back i sure will write others bad things...
so, let see the next post tonight...
it will be long...

New hairstyle and Annual Dinner

2009-12-19T07:51:00.000-08:00

Finally i got some little time to update my blog,

but not the genting trip yet,
coz i want to write lotssssssssssss about genting trip,
so, be patient ya...

Kimarie
kimarie was the saloon,
i went time square soon after the BC paper,
thanks wei jie, chin yee, pek yin and also yan min,
they accompany me to find the saloon,
and thanks iven who told me the shop's name,
then once i reached there,
soon i told the senior to help me cut wat i wan,
finally i dare to speak the word "boy cut"
ya, no choice, i wan yeng mah,
and everytime they cut till so leng...
that senior so geng,
i said:" i wan spiky de wo..."
he said:" noproblem"
i said :" i wan tomboy's hair wo..."
he replied:" noproblem"
i said:" i wan dye this type of colour de hair wo..."
he said:" noproblem"
Of coz la,
if got problem how will i sit at there for almost 2 and the half hours....
then he help me dye,so yong sui ho,
but u see,
dang dang dang DANG!!WOW!! SO YENG LEH...
THAT'S WHAT I WANT...
actually not really nice,
coz i went in a rush that time,
and took some time to capture in the car,
soon,
we go langat hill and enjoy our dinner,
if u wan to check out some photo,
pls be patient,
i will upload at monday,
soon after that i will change the word here,
to lead a easier way to search the link...
so happy when the time at langat wif frenz,
thanks ya,
reached home about 12,
and kept something and on9 a while,
then the time so fast pass until 2,
then took a good slept....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ANNUAL DINNER
After a long time struggle,
finally i chose to attend this prom activity,
i reached there my face was blush,
coz i'm one of the girl wore like boy,
felt a bit fish,
but many frens saw me,
and told me one thing,
which made me sooooooo siok:
"eh ting, you are so yeng..."
OMG!!!
i'm soooooo happy,
i took lots photo,
but i felt not enough also...
LAST PART OF THE PARTY WAS SO AMAZING,
the ball place was looked like a club,
i just like sooooooo enjoy,
non-stop jumping and dancing,
i dun care my pattern,
i just danced like sakai,
who care?
i remember got one part i dance with my fren...
And i hit you at my side body part,
that was the time u notice me i think...
i'm so enjoy, i be the train's head,
i danced with those ppl i dunno,
i continued dancing eventhough i felt headache and tired,
coz i noe this was the first time,
and also the last time
i danced with most of the form 5 ppl...
my fren told me,
aiyo, u like this feeling can go clubbing one ma,
NO!!!
I TELL U, U ARE TOTALLY WRONG!!!
that night was the onli time all schoolmate enjoyed like clubbing,
there is
NO NEXT TIME!!!
IT JUST CAN BE MEMORY ONLI SINCE THE PARTY END!!
they are so frendly that day,
we dun care,
we just played,
and mr. john was so open minded,*said by jy
he let us danced and didnt control us...
the rock part passed,
the romance part then took place,
all the couple danced soooooo sweet-ly,
soon the romance part start i walked quickly to outside,
becoz i dun wan to see something that hurt me,
made me felt sad,
and even moodless,
so went out is the best choice...
becoz i dun wan see u danced with others,
and sweet with other in front of me...
actually i dun wan back so early,
coz i wan to take my chance back to took photo with you,
but i have no choice,
if i miss joshua's car,
i have no transport,
this time was the GOD who
vanished my chance....TT
well, forget it,
i noe i still have chance until the time i die..
Lastly,
I WONT FORGET THAT NIGHT FOREVER,
I WONT REGRET TO PAY THE 50 BUCKS,
I WONT REGRET TO WASTE MY TIME BUY SHIRT,
I WILL NOT REGRET THE TIME I PREPARED MYSELF,
I WONT REGRET TO PAY SO MUCH JUST FOR MY HAIR
AND MY APPEARANCE,
AND
I WONT REGRET TO BE WITH ALL MY FRENS,
LOVE U GUYS AND GIRLS OF COZ....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
SPECIAL THANKS
BIG SISTER-->lent me money $$
SISTER-->spent her time to buy my dinner clothes
ANG KOKO-->help me to choose shirt
FELIX-->my hairstlist
WEI JIE--> hair setting
JOSHUA--> be my driver
ADRIAN, FUI LENG, KANG NIAN,
CHIN YEE, AND LOTSSSSSSSSS,
I CANT WRITE ALL NAME HERE,
PLS FORGIVE ME IF I MISS OUT U...

Sakae Sushi after chem...

2009-12-08T23:53:00.000-08:00

For me,
chemistry is really a suckss sub!!
i worked on it before,
but i got confused everytime when i read back,
so what can i do??
sucking on the study table looking at those exercise and
do do do....
It's killing!!!
Then i just do wat i did for others sub,
sleep until midnight and wake up to study till morning and took my exam,
well,
that midnight before chem really "NICE"...
because of my
SUCKING HANDPHONE!!!!
I accidentally off it to silent mode,
and the fucking handphone's alarm will onli on in vibration mode or others but not in silent!!!
well, i slept like pig that night,
without knowing wat is chem i went to school to take the chem's exam,
But surprisingly, i did it quite OK...
I not dare to say well,
coz all those Q i also answered but with a "not sure" answer...
HOW IMPORTANT IS THE LAST MINUTES WORK!!!
forget it...
after the SPM was unofficially over,
i back home and open the com while eating my lunch at 3.00++pm
Suddenly, my frens called me out,
oh, of coz i do...
talked till non-stop when being with them....
our topics wont stop whenever we are together...
anything was a topic,
even an ah po passed by we also can talked about her,
not so exxagerate la...XDDD
I having second round luch with them at
SAKAE SUSHI...
emmm....quite nice and the price was reasonable...
click here to check out some photo of the sakae sushi

well, hanging on the lmall a while,
oh yes,
the wat wat wat chinese new year album was on the night,
so mah, standing at there a while lo,
after visiting the christmas decoration on the second floor,
suddenly i saw a leng zai,
looked clearly,
OH!!
THAT WAS KAI FEI AND RYAN....
come come take take photo sin....ngek ngek ngek...XDDnothing much to tell,
oh ya,
while i standing at there,
i saw iven too,
WOW!!
THE HAIR LOOKED SOOOO NICE...
and i looked back to this pic,
i realised my sucking hair is getting longer and longer....
and cant comb till yeng yeng ady...
My fatty face and sucking hair have spoilt the photo...
SO,
i gonna to cut and dye my hair soon after BC paper at sungei wang,
i noe i gonna to pokai once more after SPM...TT
run out of $$$$$

Lucky.

2009-11-19T04:38:00.000-08:00

Finally i finished the first two days exam which made me
headache for the whole weeks...
BM,
take credit is already enough for me,
i work on it, and i hope i will get a satisfy result...
BI,
this was the most lucky paper i ever took,
really need to thanks fui san and mei kei,
who unintentionality give me some notes that were so useful...
during the assembly i tooo pressure and tried to calm myself
by sat at there dreamed,
and i noticed that fui san has a lot of model essay,
and she cincai took one essay for me to read,
which came out in the exam,
and i wrote all the points, and also some idioms,
and some words that i learnt from the essay...
second paper,
i so scare coz i have konw nothing
about the hot spot poem "monsoon history",
so i simply got some notes from amanda,
and i read nth in the book,
so i ma ngam ngam cham cham at there,
and mei kei threw me a monsoon history's notes,
just liked normal,
i dunno the sinopsis and all those kilikalak things,
i straight away read the question in the paper,
and i found out that one of the question inside was
came out in the exam exactly....
how lucky today...
sejarah,
work hard for it,
and the result was kurang memuaskan,
as my heart thinking of anti-sejarah,
but thanks sooooooooooooo much to
Mr Koh Kat Zat *koh jian hao
who always tried his best to teach me with some
interesting cartoon and pictures that may set foerever in my brain,
thanks koh...
and also my study group
stanley, amanda and koh...
becoz of the present of frens,
i will not sleep so easily while studying sejarah,
although i cant get A in sejarah,
and mostly can pass onli,
but i will not regret about that,
becoz i have a hard time in mcD of studying it,
i slept, i overdrunk coffee, i played, i joked,
but i did learnt something also...
so i can wrote something in the exam,
and came out half hour earlier,
coz my brain has totally stopped to function after the whole day long exam...
hope i can pass it with at least a credit pls~~~
i dun wan there have a E that spoilt my whole result slip...
Well, after finishing this two days,
it was as if all the burdens have released...
I will try my best to do the rest of the papers,
Gambateh!!
and it has 3 days more to be with u...
and i talked to u wif a bloody red face today..XD
*I'm lazy to change those size of words and even to put some colour today...

Sorry, i'm not dare...

2009-11-16T22:08:00.000-08:00

I lazy to write about some detail of today,
coz its just took photo everywhere...
And i have no feel about perpisahan and all those kilikalak things,
i really no feel at all,
just like i lost all sense of feeling...
And pls forgive my stupid...
this was the one last time,
but i still not dare to say:" can u take a photo with me..."
sorry, i really not dare to say that i like u...
and i vanished my last chance with my ownself....TT
but i feel ok,
coz i control myself very well,
and think rationally...
The other reason that i failed to take a photo with u was,
all ur frens were with u and surrounding u,*coz u r sooooo atractive mah..XD
if i just onli take wif u then there will be the biggest problem
that i will face,
i dun wanna to spoil my image,
especially in front of u...
Hey guys, i really felt happy to be with u all,
and hope we can meet once more after SPM,
especially u...
k la, i really no mood to write other things,
actually this post onli write about my stupidility...
no others...
i like u, and soon we will seperate and
those little memories will be save inside my heart and outside ur heart...
Bye~~
And additional, this post onli for u,
although i noe u are not reading this,
coz i just want to have some place for u...
so, if u are my frens who reading this,
sorry,
i have no mood to write the feeling about frenship...

Let's Dance have change to Let's STUDY

2009-11-09T00:34:00.000-08:00

A weeks before 9/11,
unintentionally i saw that a new program " YES SIR "
will be broadcast on the same time with "Let's Dance"
i was so wondered y would this happened,
broadcast at the same time and also the same channel???
Well, time pass fast,
already is saturday, and i was looked forward to how the program would go...
and finally, the new program took over the time of Let's Dance,
And i was so angry and "fat meng zang"
that was the onli entertainment for me,(not actually)
and
WHAT THE F**K is the F**KING ASTRO DOING AT THERE!!!
pay hundred++ everymonth and wat kind of SUCKSSSS SERVICE is this???!!
i really get angry,
and i surf the astro web and i surf almost the whole pages,
and i found out that till december there will never broadcast
any episode of Let's Dance!!!
OK!! i really wonder what had happen,
till just now 9/11 afternoon,
I called the F**KING ASTRO CUSTOMER SERVICE,
actually i really want to "shoot" them 99 one,
by they very well behave,
so i just said :
"I wonder y the AEC broadcast the program "YES SIR"
instead of "LET'S DANCE"?? " *something like that la
with a wonder heart,
well, then....blablabla....
And half hour later,
they told me:
"because they have a new drama "YES SIR" so it needed to be broadcast first,
and the Let's Dance will be feedback on NEXT YEAR's JANUARY 9..."
I just like blur already and stucked at there,
This guy was even well behave than that girl on the 1st call,
and i also dun wanna to spoil my image by scolding them,
becoz they want my ic no. before telling me the details, TT
so lo, finally also didnt scold,
just asked...
And my frens said y do u so "kek dong", watch at net la...
EHEH, if like that, wat for i wan to buy a television and also the astro,
of cause i noe i can watch on net,
but do u noe, watch at tv is more quality than computer,
i can watch their emotion and action clearer than computer 100 "pei"
Is the AEC really SUCKSS??
got a taiwan movie which is so standard programme they refuse to broadcast,
but replace by a MALAYSIAN drama!!!!
WHAT THE F**K,
onli those MUI MUI ZAI interest about it,
*yaya, i noe i'm mui mui zai also, but i felt happy to be a clever mui mui zai..XD
Actually is good also la,
let me keep my heart to study and struggle for the SPM,
Come on, for those who reading this blog,
GAMBATEH!!
the closer the SPM = the closer the exam finish,
think like this, maybe will feel more easy...
Let's STUDY...XD

人类的自私。

2009-11-04T00:04:00.000-08:00

“毕业晚会”
就是今天全中五生的热门话题，
你问下我有没有去，
我又问下你有没有去，
结果我的答案又是拖下拖下拖到限期。
今天 MR John如果收不到定金50% 的话，
地方就会转移到较少受欢迎的学校礼堂去，
一部分的人却死命坚持要去酒店，
而大部分的只是默认，
表面有决定但内心在挣扎的我，
只摆出一张无辜的脸，毫不知情。。。
好啦！MR John 看到那样的状况，
也只好说：
“OK ah， Form 5,
we have our annual dinner at the school hall ah.."
之后散会，
想去酒店的人却死心不惜的，
我还偶然听见：
“如果在学校礼堂的话，我不来咯！”
*语气还蛮怒的。
有一班代表，
死命的哀求别的不想去的朋友出席，
说什么，
最后一年啊~
最后一次相聚阿~~
最后一次全体中5出席阿~~~
妈的！！！
听到都怒！！
人家不要去就不要逼啦！
更何况你们真的这样想吗？？
真的为最后一次聚在一起吗？？？
真的为了那儿的美食吗？？？
屁啦！！
话说到尾不就是自己爱献！！
想献自己的美色，身材，高贵和之类的。。。
如果你真真想和你的朋友聚在一起，
我看不太需要在以地方咯。。。
之前说到这样爱惜友情，
一说到在礼堂去办就第一个说不去。。。
你们真的有够力自私！！

无可否认，
我也想在酒店，
但因为服装关系，
本人决定不去，
等待大会的决定，
在学校的话，
也许我会出席，
至少我能够和我的朋友癫在一团，
又不用太为仪态烦恼，
别说我自私，
我不去或去，
想在学校多过酒店，
至少我也不会强迫别人，
只是自己做的决定。。。

半死。

2009-10-31T14:35:00.000-07:00

原本约好了朋友说在麦当劳读书的，
Mana tahu 昨天晚上吃错什么东西，
弄到一个晚上足足欧了4 次这样大把！
顶！！
你晚上欧还说啦，尽然欧到半夜，
半夜时真的有够力辛苦，
要睡不得，要欧不得，
欧了3次，还以为自己很饿所以肚子怪怪，
脚一踏去楼梯，马上就冲回到楼上的厕所了，
结果就忽睡忽醒的待到6点多，
因为心里一直有个责任要告诉蟑螂和师傅，
说我不能到。。。
对不起啊！
这真是人们说的“放飞机”，
没办法啊！“事出突然”。。。
好了，终于9点多了，
喝了一杯热热的MILO就玩一下电脑，
不久又给人拖出去“Yam早茶”
又喝多一杯热热的teh，
第一次感受到讨厌吃东西，
想到最好吃的点心，也变得没胃口去了。。。
回到家又睡，
哇！这次的午睡可说是
历年来最痛苦的，
整个身体忽冷忽热，
手指和脚趾冷到不懂像什么，
身体却热得被火烧似的，
当时真的很像大声说道：
“救命啊！！！！”
但却被我那软手软脚阻止着了，
整身好像吃了“软骨散”那样，
想起床都辛苦，
结果3点多被逼之下吃了退烧药，
休息一下后，
又去睡！！
到五点多才发现要收拾神桌，
妈妈有够残忍。。TT
人家病到这个臭屁样还要。。。
算了啦，我妈也是从早做到晚，
也会累得吗~~
结果我就咬噬牙关和我姐姐完成了
半个小时的任务，
然后就呆到六点半看我的
“舞林大道”
好了！
看完了，
也吃完了，
肚子又开始感到不舒服了，
结果就去睡了，
睡到5点多早上。。。

今天的结论就是，
我睡了大半天！！
可怜，整天都在睡~~~

Thanks Sifu...

2009-10-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

Thanks to my sifu today...
this is the most clearer pic i ever took from him...
eating at wong kok...And this bao bao,
looking at my sifu's CHAO FAN
Well, felt so sorry to him,
poor him,
tuition from morning till evening,
and go to teach us the chemistry without learning the most wanted things,
SEJARAH...
He really taught me lots that day,
i learn something from him,
not something actually,
is many things...
and hope him learned something too when taught us...

Well,
after said thanks and sorry,
back to that day's story,
walked so long time finally
we decided to go "tan cha house"
but on the way,
we spotted a more suitable place...
KOPITIAM
WOW!
such a nice place for study,
so less customer,
and even felt not so hot at there,
so quiet and just listened to our own noises,
first time i concentrated for 2 hours continuously sat at there and
learned chemistry,
by then i felt
CHEMISTRY WAS ALSO A KILLING SUBJECT
beside sejarah,
well,
there's
22 days left since now until SPM...
felt stress totally,
just can study always...

Crisis.

2009-10-25T08:31:00.000-07:00

Just like normal, i wore t-shirt and pant to school that friday,
dunno wat happened to de MR.WONG,
mood soooooo good until called all da form 5 students who wore T-shirt de
go out in front of the stage,
then ma go lo,
everyday i wear like that i knew i will kena hukum
anytime or anywhere...
but y i still did this,
coz i really hate to wear school dress,
it makes me looked so fat,
YEA! i noe i am,
stop hurting me...
Well, back to my story,
after mr wong said some noon-sense,
"bla bla bla..."
and wrote our names,
and released us of coz,
then we back to our seats,
and start the crisis that i wanna to tell,
but there's also some secret which i'm not convenience to say it out here,
i scare somebody said out the girl or maybe guys will get the punishment 99,
so i just said that "she or he" helps me lots,
and led me able to escape the heavy punishment and also my fren..
actually that barang larangan is not mine and somebody help me,
and thanks to my quick response and my fren's co-operation,
and the most thanks was "he or she"...
i dunno u, but u helped me out...
THANKS YA....
and this crisis happened is just becoz of one person,
ah heng,
who dunno y like always try to point at me...
and maybe i'm so yeng and leng lui than her,
said by my fren...
Well, after all, i felt so scare,
coz that is not my thing,
once i lost it,
i think i'm in trouble and also my fren...
And one of the noob,
not noob actually,
he is so good that he dun wan to mafan ppl,
and made himself even mafan,
hey guy,
fren wont say mafan to fren ok?
u wan our help we will help u out,
and now u see,
so mafan,
kena nama + need ur parent to take it...
watever that ur choice to not gave that to us....

Title-less

2009-10-12T21:37:00.000-07:00

刚刚又从某某地方看到一个挺有意识的句子，
分享一下下，
“心事，摊明来说就没意识了。”
哇赛也！
我真的很赞同这说法，
说明是心事吗，
干吗要说出来！
对了对了，
我希望写那个人看见不要骂我，
我只觉得有意识才post上来的，
希望你不要再以哦。。。

2009全球新秀歌唱大赛 VS 超级星光大道！！

2009-10-11T20:57:00.000-07:00

好忙啊！好忙啊！
可是我并不是忙着做我的温习，
而是在拿着遥控器不断的换台，
这里广告我就转去301的星光大道，
那里广告我就转去313的新秀比赛。。。
电视机几乎要给我弄坏去了。。。
哇唠诶！！
马来西亚新秀竟然拿第一名哦！！！
掌声一个先！！
*clap clap clap
谁阿?
等下你就知道咯!
她真的有很大的进步，
尤其是在那个什么什么比赛，
马来西亚对中国时。。。
她唱的那首 “旋木” 真的是非常动听，
这次她常很类似的歌曲，
都是很轻柔的。。。
真得很赞！！
她就是
当当当当！！
曾洁钰
WOW!!
马来西亚第三，
在那却第一，
由此可见她在短短的三个月真的进步很多。。。
好！报告就到此为此。。。

今天不断听音乐比赛，
本人也收获蛮多，
我指的是听到很多好听的歌曲啦！
如果不是每天听一样的歌真的是闷死了~~
对对！
其中有一首很好听，

对了！
就是这首，
“画心”
它的旋律真的很棒！

别伤害自己。

2009-10-08T00:43:00.000-07:00

刚刚无意中看见某些东西，
令本人想回很多类似的事件，
你们真的有这么伤心吗？
伤心到近乎死心，
去伤害自己！
以前年幼就说jek（中二算幼吗？）
难道到现在你们的头脑还这样的小吗？
我真得很讨厌别人用刀来割伤自己的手，
弄到企图想自杀似的。。。
好啊！有种就在老子面前死掉！
没种就别将你那笨拙的伤口献给别人看，
好像要说到自己很伟大那样，为爱情如何付出，
您老爸那么辛苦养到你那样大，你点点东西就说到要生要死。。。
我真的不相信你们会自杀，
如果是这样的，我看报馆一定发达了。。
更何况你们甘心只活在这世上二十年不到吗？
给我我就不甘心，
因为还有很多东西我都还没看过，
也还没经历过，
我真的不愿就这样为了什么爱情死掉，
到后来一定会后悔。。。
你们每次弄伤自己的手，
分一次手，割自己一刀，留一道疤痕，
你们真的舍得死掉咩？？
我真的不信你们有这样的勇气！！
竟然都无心死掉，为什么还要做作，
伤害自己，流出不应该流的血？？

也许你们面临很大的创伤，
不过别轻易放弃，
如果不是，一错手，
真的是后悔莫及。。。。
停止那笨拙的做法了大家，
别伤害自己。。。
万事都有解决方式。。。

Sejarah Seminar.

2009-10-05T07:36:00.001-07:00

Felt so boring, almost whole day is alone in the house...
When the time I was at school also did nothing...
Actually i attended to school today is for the stupid sejarah seminar,
however the assembly made me felt even tired, sit in the hall without a chair,
the whole ass pain like hell,
sit so uncomfortably,
wat can i did at that time,
just acted nothing and wait for the singing time when can i stand,
not singing time actually, is listening to music onli nia...
Well,
when the time de dunno
who who who
macam is chua lay min, if didnt salah,
said:" form5 balik kelas dulu, seminar sejarah hari ini....."
I said to myself:" dibatalkan dibatalkan dibatalkan...."
and teacher continued:" ...dibatalkan."
whole form 5:" HOORAY!!!" *clap clap clap*
included me also, who gave a big clap,
but then i thought when i'm in class,
am i noob??
went school for the seminar but clap hand pulak when it been canceled...
Well,
my sejarah so bad actually is compulsory for me to attend it...

Recently are so lazy for me to get on my table and study,
maybe one of the reason was,
the computer is beside my study table...
So i decide to study at the sitting-room,
but...
the television is in front of me pulak...
is maltreating me...
I still haven ready to study,
but i control myself not to do this not to do that,
so what can i do?
No mood study,
Force self dun watch TV or play com,
and
finally went to the kitchen and found some snacks to eat...
Oh gosh....getting fatter...
TT...
Spechless...

讨厌！

2009-09-29T08:16:00.000-07:00

今天所发生的任何事件都让我很不爽，
很不舒服，
很难受，
唯有下午时独自一个人在房间里，
做自己的事时是最满足的。。。
一大清早就一直在犹豫，
今天要不要上学，
甚至在等待第二个的铃声，
我都在想，我甚至用钱币帮我做决定，
最后我还选着了去，虽然前比较我不要，
有一件是我必须说明的，
其实我是因为校衣破烂不堪所以才穿服的，
并不是什么其他理由。。。
我做得上学决定也许是对的也可说可能是错的，
上学一心一意是为了physic考卷，和某某原因，
毕竟时间也不多，能看的时间也很少，
所以咯~~~
怎知道那个老师竟然大胆到！！
去kursus。。。
哈哈！没什么大不了。。。
算了！我对这次的成绩已失望得近乎绝望，
我的强项科目真的是感觉到越靠越差，
但我的奋斗却是一次比一次的强。。。
难以想象我科学的科目竟然给我如此大的打击，
我心真得很疼，为什么？
我已经比以前努力了。。。
算，幸好的是我的两科数学没让我失望，
考得蛮不错。。。就只有它们没有遗弃我。。。
说说我的历史先，
简直是惊人！
第一张，拿到。。。
等等，我不想直接说，
只能说必须订正31题（全班最低！！），
了解啦！反而第二张，
竟然拿到不错的成绩，
大家知什么事，我也不想说，
因为我觉得很狲！！
别的科目暂时不说。。。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
第二件事，
本人觉得自己的人际关系真的是一天比一天糟糕，
不过也没办法，可能是脸的问题，
可能是性格的问题，
这陌生的感觉无可否认我真的很讨厌，
不过我会忍，因为我不能做什么的改变，
我没资格。。
我不会让任何的不开心都放在脸上，
因为我知道不会有人在意的。。。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
第三件，
真得很西北够力讨厌的事！！
就是一直为了课外活动的东西奔波劳动，
走到我的较真的痛到。。。
没办法，谁叫我的鞋板飘去了隔壁的阿姨家，
又不拾，弄到脚底好像在按摩那样。。。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
第四件，
一个蛮无聊的问题，
也许当事人都忘了，
但我还有点在意。。。
有一种向人表白而被拒绝的感觉，
类似而已啦！不是真的表白。。。

总而言之是不顺啦！
一整天都不顺！！

Holiday!!

2009-09-24T09:12:00.000-07:00

Hooray!!I love holiday so muchi...
I felt so relax, just like doing "fei cai" all the day(liked wat my si fu did)
without any stress at all...
I met frens,
I watched movie,
I play mahjong,
I went to have some sport games,
and the most important
didnt do revision at ALL!!!
I knew i will get scold soon for doing this...
so i better keep back all my holiday mood since monday...
ahla...give me some time, nope,
is give sometimes to my brain to relax la...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I really felt happiness leaving in this family...
I got many things that can fulfill my life,
i enjoy yam cha with them,
and even enjoy went to shopping mall with them,
sometimes we will play together just act like small children,
sometimes we said joke...
and sometimes we have quarrelled...we wont?
and my sui bro also will curi curi put some $$ to my wallet,
which i felt most surprise...
Love u ya...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And the one which made me felt most unhappy was...
the writter of CRAYON SHIN CHAN have gone...
i read his comic since i was a pretty little girl...XD!
That day when i finished yam cha at old town,
we went to drive thru and buy lunch,
while waiting for the slow service,
i listened to the news in radio,
who said they found a corpse which was being identifying...
an hour later, my sis told me that the corpse is the writer of shin chan,
i got a shocked...wat a bad news!!!
Before, every six month i will ask my siblings to buy the new episode,
but now...no way,
no CRAYON SHIN CHAN anymore!!
and now every night i gonna to read the old episode again and again...
TT!!
i really dunno how to express my feelings through english...
just hope u guys noe wat i'm trying to express,
i felt this post i wrote today is damn bad...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Actually i wanna to write many things...
but i really have no mood to continue to write this...
and wat im doing now is being force...
SUCKS!!! i really dunno wat i'm writing again,
just ignore.....

感受。

2009-09-18T02:12:00.000-07:00

我真的不知要放什么主题，
算了，部落格主体应该不太重要吧！
因为很多人都更新了他们的部落格，
几乎全部的主题都是考完试或类似的。。。
现在望着窗外那场密雨，
一滴滴的落在屋檐上，
孤独的我将音乐的音量调高。。。
大声的把音乐的歌词呐喊。。。
似乎将我内心的不满唱完出来，
爽透了！！
原来独自在家的感受是如此美妙，
不过我知道，我不能独自度过自己的生活，
我只喜欢偶尔的孤独，
而不是永久的孤独，
因为我知道我一定承受不到。。。
同样的事件反复的在我脑海中巡回，
我不知要如何让自己感到舒服一点，
不需多，只需一点点就够了，
因为我开始感到我很失败，
比任何人来说我真的很差劲。。。
我不是做作，我是真得不开心。。。
我不想说，我再也不会说，
我想将属于我的事情全放在自己的脑袋，
不需别人的关怀，不需别人分享。。。
在我身边的任何人我也只会当是玩伴，
不需任何人在踏进我的内心世界，
我觉得我支撑到。。。
那天我玩了一个心理测验，
他说我是个很爱哭的人，
说的也是，但现在，
我会尽量控制自己不让自己在流泪，
我觉得我成功了，因为我没落泪，
而对我来说可能是最舒服的感受。。。

无言。

2009-09-14T22:53:00.000-07:00

刚考完试，心情想不定会是很好的啦！
我以为我可以不介意，但事实告诉我：
“你在意。”
回到家，开电脑，
眼睛看着银幕，但心却不在游戏。。。
真的，
当一个人心情不好对着自己喜欢的东西也无补于事，
而心情好做什么也无所谓，一定会从娱乐中得到喜悦。。。
今早还没回校前，我一起床就沉迷于某游戏，
手不离桌，眼不离幕的玩。。。
还以为自己真的很爱玩那游戏，
考完试后，心情更好！
因为我很会做。。。
休息后，看过自己那烂鬼屁成绩后，
心情依然保持着，因为有朋友在一起谈天，
就好像不太在意。
现在的我回到家，
第一件事就玩我所谓很爱玩的“游戏”，
越玩越心不在焉，心一直飞去我的成绩，
游戏得分就有如我的成绩如此的差劲。。。
才发现原来我真得在意！
我真得很在意我的成绩，
我没一题都很用心去做，
想到脑汁都出完来。。。
为什么会比我的中年考试如此大的差距，
其实我自信并不回过大，甚至不大，
真得不大，
表面看来也许真的有，
但我知道我在做什么，
我很清醒。。。
我现在终于很清楚知道，
我要的并不是和他们比，而是我的目标
A1....
现在已没了这个目标，有的只剩别的grade，

其实我还没完完全全知道我的分数，
因为老师根本都还没改完，
我还有希望，最关键的一个部分
physic paper 2 和 bio paper 2 sec C....
加油吧！

一个星期

2009-09-04T19:47:00.000-07:00

这个星期，
说长不长，
说短它又不短，
让我很辛苦的度过了，
每一夜都调半夜闹钟来把在发着美梦的我给吵醒，
没办法啦，你要美梦还是好成绩。。。
在这星期考的科目，
全部我都作答得很顺利，
但就好像做不到我所要的“好”。。。
看来这次要只能得到平平的分数。。。
但弄到我最压力的就是，
就是这考试什么科都好都有很仔细的tips，
这个问题弄到我很辛苦，
我会在想，
“竟然都有tips了，为什么不尽力拿好它呢!"
就因为这样，每一次我读书，
心情都十分的紧张，很难入脑。。。

原本我也为这次考试会没有tips，
大家一起靠实力去考，
怎知，
连题目都有。。。
有舍意识？？
都知道了问题，
拿自已准备好的答案去作答，
分数到来后又要和别人比，
那样有意识吗？？
有种就拿自己的实力来比！！
为了考好成绩没关系，
但如果为了比，
我可说那人很无聊。。。

而对于我来说，
都以看透了，
竟然有问题就去38一下，
不要自己的考到这样烂，
这次考试看来最靠实力的就非高级数学不可了。。。
高级数学。。。
我等着您的来临。。。

Finally i'm 17!!

2009-08-31T22:12:00.000-07:00

Em....
didnt enjoy my birthday for two years already,
last year becoz of work....
this year becoz of exam....
By then i realised FAMILY is much BETTER than FRIENDS...
that's wat i felt for this few days, and TODAY....
Some of them are really good and even perfect,
but some of them....
well,
i wont said who,
i noe myself then ok jor...
i think i no need to care about those wishes,
who care me,
who not,
i can feel it....
and i can noe it....
that's wat i realised TODAY,
u made that for me,
and i noe wat to do for the future...

Maybe today is my lucky day,
my legs haven step into the school already have something
SPECIAL happened,
i dun need u to give me a wish,
or even give me a wish,
as i noe u dunno today is my birthday,
and i wont even tell u,
becoz when i can walk in school together,
i already satisfy,
no need others...
i really enjoy the time i walk beside u,
together to the thumbprint system there,
talked something non-sense,
this SPECIAL HAPPENED already made me
whole day feel siok...
can even forgot anything....
although we played seldom....

And here got a SPECIAL SUPER THANKS to my sister,
wakekeke, dun smile at there,
u noe i am saying u,
THX FOR THE EXPENSIVE SPEC....
LOVE U SO MUCH!!!
I will use this for more than 3 years at least,
wont like b4,
one year change one spec...

失去方向

2009-08-25T19:48:00.000-07:00

我越来越觉得很不自在，
我在外，
觉得朋友有时候不太可靠，
我在家里，
常常被人指责，
是我的态度有问题吗？
还是我太固执？
无可否认，
我觉得我的态度超有问题，
有时我会在不受控制下说出或做出不应该的事！
我很矛盾，我很忧郁，
我最近根本无法控制我的情绪，
我变得不会操控我自己，
我的方向是完完全全的失去了，
我变得没方向感。
或许每个人都会经历某些改变或经历，
但我实在承受不到这如此大的改变！！
我受够啦！！
我何时才能变得像以前那样的有自信，
利用我的自信帮我隐藏完我所有的失败？？！！？
还是我要求过高？弄得我什么都不是？
觉得自己是一个完完全全的废材...
我以前很会隐藏，
大家看到的只会是一个开心的我，
我也是，我一点也不会感觉到不开心，
我真得不知自己在做什么，
我很不开心，可是我不想说，
甚至自己不开心什么也不知道，
只是觉得自己的心不舒服。
我会想，
我知道只要放开一些就会舒服，
但我连要放开的是什么我也不晓得。
这段时期我也不知道我在做什么，
就连一句话我重复又重复我知道，
可是我不知怎么做。。。
最近一直沉迷counter-strike，
因为杀人的感觉很爽，
他令到我很舒服。。。
千万别以为我心理变态，
我有一个朋友一是这样的...
我没事。。。
我没事。。。
我没事。。。
我会试着让自己没事~~
*请不要在我面前讨论这话题，
我只是疏解情绪，
看过了就算，不要问，不要提，
我不会回答任何的问题和答案。

我回來了

2009-08-20T19:07:00.000-07:00

不要以为我去哪儿来，
只是忙得没时间更新，
之前还说什么要随时更新，
呸，结果这么久才。。。
死火咯！我觉得我的华语越来越糟糕，
那天考华语作文时，
我竟然很犹豫，
对着作文题目不知怎么开头，
对着应用文又好像无从下手，
呆了二十五分钟才写到一段，
而我对自己的语文知识和用词实在是一塌糊涂！！
连现在写部落格也就的糟糕！！
说到考试，
无可否认我真得很害怕，
因为我还有很西北够力多的课程还没完成，
想哭的感觉。。。
我班的朋友更疯狂，
他们也是我一部分的推动力，
因为他们的努力，
弄得我反省，
我不想我的名次落后，
不过大部分的当然是想达到自己的目标啦！
所以都很拼命读书和温习甚至去很多的ADD math kelas tambahan。
感觉到我变得很乖巧了，
以前的大考也好小考也好，
只会当是西北风，
吹过就算。。
现在呢。。。
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
在这段时期，
其实有很多事情发生，
但我都已渐渐忘了，
没办法，我记忆好的话我的历史一早就拿A了，
需要在愁及不及格吗？
令我最影响深刻的就是我校刚举办的Fashion Competition，
真是很西北够力后悔没去参加，
在舞台这样有自信的猫步，
真让我越看越后悔，
越想越激动！！
幸好在一场犹豫不决的情况下去观赛，
真地考虑了很久。。。
我知道你们一定会想去一个比赛罢了吗，
都要想？
想去就去不想就不要啦！
但我说考虑的因素真的很矛盾，
不过算了，都够了啦！

写着这样多先吧，很懒惰。。。

对了！若想看我观赛后的喝茶照片可看我的facebook。。。
http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home#/album.php?aid=86021&id=785383842

School's Singing Competition (Final)

2009-08-01T01:04:00.001-07:00

Felt
VERY!!
EXTREMELY!!
UNUSUAL!!
RATHER!!
QUITE!!
SUPERD!!
DAMN TIRED!!!
Just like what my fren said,
because we are tooooo stretch, and 精神紧绷。。。
Didnt expect that we could got any prize,
because we knew we were not good enough
compare to those candidates,
For we participate in was becoz of the fun that we wanted to make... Lucky 7....
And the result actually quite fair...
But what my fren thought was a bit wrg,
as i felt that they have a bit feeling of partial...
What i thought was,
can in final already good,
dun think so much,
we are not the judges,
only the judges know who was the best...
Felt a bit disappointed,
becoz someone was not there when i was singing,
just continuing paid attention on the seat...
Walao,
fell relaxed after the competition!!
Can eat watever i wan!!
no need to think about my throat at this mean time...
I CAN ENJOY MY DELICIOUS DURIANS!!!
Ok lah,
dun wan wrote much,
felt tired...
And lastly,
THANKS YA BUDDY!!!
SUPPORTING AND ALSO MY PARTNER,
HAVING A GOOD PERFORMANCE!!

Intervensi 3

2009-07-28T00:44:00.000-07:00

Study?
Homework?
Revision?
TOTALLY NOT!!
What i did before this test?
just kept on playing,
enjoying movie show,
skip tuition class,
kept my house and even sis house,
Monday exam,
i still go out gai gai at sunday night,
with my family to bought some furniture.
When the time they go bought mirror,
i still at there captured some photo...

Cutie parents...

Well,
When the this time i took all the test paper,
I really dunno how to do,
even my lovely subject,
add math and physic,
Every sub also sleep till so siok...
dun even noe that teacher was keeping the paper...
I can expect wat result i will get this time test,
just act it as a exercise...

Result of ASQ

2009-07-25T08:25:00.000-07:00

Just finished watching ASQ,
then now wanna to update jor...
wanna to share wif u all mah,
Well,
THE CHAMPION WAS
DONG DONG DONG DONG!!!!
GAN WAN CHEAN!!!
OPPS!!
that's once upon a time..
nvm, tonight she also got a short performance,
展翅高飞 again..
today watch 2 of her performance...
one was TVB mega live
and the other was
ASQ'S FINAL...
but i wont fell sienz...
when listen to this song i will think about my singing competition,
DAMN REGRET!!! Y CANT I SING IT WELL AT THAT TIME??

ok lah serious la...
THE CHAMPION WAS
DANG DANG DANG DANG!!!
MIN!!

WOW!!!! * CLAP CLAP CLAP*
PRO singer, sing well, the most stable among the 5,
but hopelessly, she didnt sang her own song,
which was strongly attach my attention
< 最好的结局>
remember guys, this is a MUST listen song,
can search at youtube or my side bar as well...
Dont u all realised? I didnt ever to call u all listen about my idol's song,
but this, really nice...

SECOND PLACE...
MY LENG ZAI!!!
KAH FEI!!
So cute...
love him since he sang 红日 & 爱在记忆中找你..
quite a good performance tonight,
a bit lost when the time singing with janice..
So i even worried can u in to the final pk a not,
ah la already got secong place le,
sure can in final pk la...
GOOD PERFORMANCE!!
GAMBATEH! SUPPORT U!!

THIRD PLACE
YOKE!!

1st round really sucksss...
but after that was better...

FORTH PLACE
RYAN!!
not bad la...
got improve lots lo...

FIFTH PLACE
ALVIN!!
that's wat i hoped actually,
because he always 走音
however till no.5 then out jor...

Compare to last year,
this time was not as good as last year,
Especially the opening...
DAMN MESSY!!!
however,
the worst thing was they didnt sang their own song,
which was i hope to watch the most!!
my prediction all wrong...

ASQ's FINAL IS COMING!!!

2009-07-24T19:34:00.000-07:00

Sorry ya,
cant find the pic without the words...
Today's night final,
so excited,
although they are not as good as those million star's singer,
but be a singer is not easy,
support every singer,
this year final,
either kai fei or min can take the champion,
that's wat i think,
I liked kai fei since he sang the 爱在记忆中找你
PRO!!
nice sound,
fantastic skill,
And Min is when the time i listened she sang the
最好的结局,
damn nice,
nice 转音,
eagerly waiting for today's final!!!
SUPPORT MIN AND KAI FEI!!!

VS
Both of them sure can in 3强
just waiting who is the champion

界辉 VS 毓敏

AND the other 3,

RYAN
Actually supported him before,
becoz he very leng zai,
especially when the time he sang 放生,
but most of the judges just let him in final becoz he
LENG ZAI,
then i beh song him already,
WHAT THE TUT,
becoz leng zai can in final
then i ma can be champion lo!!!
Cant even pronounce a word clearly can in final!!!
!@@$#@#$@#$
becoz of dancing and leng zai can in final!!
THIS IS A SINGING COMPETITION AH!!
not a
MODEL COMPETITION!!!
however, not my business,
can in final not= can be champion,
maybe first round out ady....

ALVIN,
This guy not bad la,
but i think he always 走音,
duunno is his skill or really 走音,
also can in final,
felt a bit weird,
however, he have the put lot effort i think,
who wont?

YOKE,
Not bad,
sound very cute...

Actually all 5 also good la,
just depends on who is the most attractive,
and depend on the judges,
who no kuasa to give any comment about them,
accept u better than them,
so wat i wrote is just my opinion on them,
not judging,
not commenting...
just supporting!!
Because to be a singer not that easy,
they very hadworking to chase their dreams,
who wont?
the result i predict:
1. 界辉
2. MIN
3. Alvin
4. Yoke
5. Ryan

GAMBATEH!!
EXCITING!!!